Whenever the whole university or job conversation comes up it totally skips me&moves onto my younger sister once again I'm left feeling no~one cares about my future cuz no-one ever seems to want to discuss it with me. In my mind I'm thinking that they don't seem to think I have a future past all this,I went on later that day to discuss my thoughts with one of my best friends who told me that I can't judge myself on them or anyone else who I feel is doing better than me because there not me,she also said that even tho I'd obviously perfer not to be sick I can use this to inspire people and also that because of all this I'll probably end up proving everyone wrong. I went away and thought about this quite deeply I also came to the conclusion that due to all this
I've also got alot of sympathy in ways that I know they won't ever have or be able to relate to,not saying there not decent people cuz they are but they have come out with things in the past that I find quite offensive,I probably got mad at the time but its down to lack of understanding. I've also been able to experience other people's ways of life that are alot worse than mine,and got to be around some of the nicest people yet the ones who are struggling the most. This has given me a totally different way of thinking,one that I know I wouldn't want to be taken away from me if I had the chance, I've been truly inspired and touched by these people,their stories&their positivity again something that they won't ever have.
As for school and jobs I'll get there,I'm excited about getting back into learning,it fills me with alot of joy. I've decided that I won't settle until I get somewhere I'm not only happy with but somewhere I know I want to stay for the rest of my life it has to something I'm excited about doing,I want to go to bed everynight having enjoyed my day I don't wanna be one of those adults who comes home moaning because they hate thier job I wanna come home or be at home being excited about what I've been doing/am doing. I also know that I'll get bored with only one project on the go so I plan to have a few on the go at once,maybe a part time job&the art stuff.
I've considered maybe volunteering somewhere or even having more than one business (as long as I know there both gonna work&trying might be fun anyway) I might be sick&I'll never be your average person but I deserve my rights like eveyone else.
I'm gonna have to push and somehow make my own way but I'm sure I can do it it'll just be a very slow process but even if I'm at retirement age& I get somewhere atleast I'll have made it. Right now all that matters is that I do everything I can to get better&be the best person I know I can be.
