There's so much more to life than just getting married or having kids,you spend so long dreaming about big white weddings & falling inlove ect I know i definitely have when I've been to ill to do anything. I also think I gave up on myself & decided that I'd basically just be in all day waiting for a guy to arrive home from work,I also think I thought that I'm gonna need constant care or looking after maybe rn I do alot of the time & maybe I always will (not this much but a little more than everyone else)
but that doesn't mean I can't stand on my 2 feet & do whatever I want because I don't give up even if I only do half the stuff I want I know I'll have done myself proud,I haven't finished school I haven't done even a quarter of the stuff people my age have but I've
done things they haven't mostly because they haven't had to but its made me alot braver & stronger.
I always thought that I needed someone to tell me I was gonna be okay or someone to just be there & when I'm exhausted I still do but this year I've filled my mind with so many stories of incredible women or people with illnesses doing incredible things some real life stories,some fiction but it's helped a incredible amount.
I've never had a problem with hardly anyone,I've never been bullied,looking back I did face discrimination during my school years quite alot but I always surrounded by people who I knew cared so until lately I never really thought about it,I've never felt unloved or unwanted until I got to the point when I realized I was ill. After that I felt more unwanted than ever,I've written about this alot but I somehow created a fantasy land to help deal with real life.
As a kid you're only ever taught about fairytales where people get saved from bad situations & for years I guess I thought that would happen at some point of course I wasn't thinking it would be as simple as that but I did think that someone would be able save me just from being able to love me through all the bad stuff,the way my parents always have.
I guess you could say I'm now scared to love or even let myself admit to myself that I think a guys attractive because if do I most likely get crushed.
I don't need some guy to save me like I've been thinking I do for years I need my family & the tiny amount of friends I have because I know they do love me & always will. I'm positive that if I do need anything in years to come there's always going to be people who will care & look after me if that's family friends or family friends there's always gonna be someone there so unlike how I've felt the past year I'm never going to be alone,there's always gonna be someone there & I'm not any less worthy or loveable because I've got all these problems,It's just harder to find the right people who will understand. Bit that doesn't mean there isn't some guy who could.
Right now I plan to get better for me not anyone else,I plan to stop caring what people think because really doesn't help at all,I still plan to believe in the unreal & let myself get lost in fantasy stories because I love them,so I'm letting go of them.
& most importantly I plan to find myself & save myself whilst trying to help others along the way.
I'm not some damsel in distress needing a prince I'm a warrior just like all the other female warriors/activists that proved we don't need saving by men but if we stick together we can achieve anything.
Sunday 3 December 2017
How to survive the Christmas season with a chronic ilness
I loved writing my pain management blog,being really proud of it its also one of my faves I have ever written. I also had alot of fun writing it as I felt it might be able to help someone,I also enjoyed researching it all & doing it in bullet points was really helpful for me as I still sometimes struggle to write.
As Christmas is soon upon us &I know most people have already started their celebrations or will soon I thought I'd write a list of things that I thought would help during the next month up until the new year celebrations,this is something I thought would also be useful to alot of people so I hope atleast one of these helps,even if it is only one person.
I know it's hard to pace yourself especially around this time of year but its so important to rest as much & as soon as possible I hope you all have an amazing Christmas & I know I can't take away your pain but I hope it eases enough for you to be able to enjoy yourself,also if you're worried about missing something anything interesting will probably get filmed or pictures will be taken of it so you won't miss anything at all.
I hope you enjoy this blog & I hope you all have an amazing Christmas.
List of ways to survive the Christmas season:
♡SLEEP~ I know its hard because you don't want to miss anything but if you need it you need it & if you don't rest or sleep as soon as possible your only going to start feeling worse.
♡Audiobooks~Take yourself off somewhere to go & zone out with a good book for a while,taking yourself to another place for a bit is a great way to not only relax but to get away from all the noise.
♡Watch or have Downloaded a good T.V show or film so you have something to watch whilst resting.
♡ Insert ear plugs or use ear defenders~this way you can still be in the room even if you're finding the noise hard to deal with as these 2 items won't take away the noise but they can adjust the volume to make it alot quieter than it really is.
♡ If you're on any medication that helps with energy increase it (if you know its safe) as this will help you have a Christmas where you might be able to stay awake for a little longer than previous years.
♡ Get all therapies or anything you do to help with pain or energy crammed in as close to Christmas day as possible as this will have a big impact on your body & how well you feel.
♡MUSIC~download or stream some music on your phone or any other device you have available, music always helps me to relax & I know it works foe alot of others.
♡Eye masks~I've never tried this & only just thought of it but if you don't want to leave your family & go to another room you could always zone out by putting headphones or earplugs (or by putting ear defenders on) & covering your eyes with a eye mask so you can't see or hear anything
As Christmas is soon upon us &I know most people have already started their celebrations or will soon I thought I'd write a list of things that I thought would help during the next month up until the new year celebrations,this is something I thought would also be useful to alot of people so I hope atleast one of these helps,even if it is only one person.
I know it's hard to pace yourself especially around this time of year but its so important to rest as much & as soon as possible I hope you all have an amazing Christmas & I know I can't take away your pain but I hope it eases enough for you to be able to enjoy yourself,also if you're worried about missing something anything interesting will probably get filmed or pictures will be taken of it so you won't miss anything at all.
I hope you enjoy this blog & I hope you all have an amazing Christmas.
List of ways to survive the Christmas season:
♡SLEEP~ I know its hard because you don't want to miss anything but if you need it you need it & if you don't rest or sleep as soon as possible your only going to start feeling worse.
♡Audiobooks~Take yourself off somewhere to go & zone out with a good book for a while,taking yourself to another place for a bit is a great way to not only relax but to get away from all the noise.
♡Watch or have Downloaded a good T.V show or film so you have something to watch whilst resting.
♡ Insert ear plugs or use ear defenders~this way you can still be in the room even if you're finding the noise hard to deal with as these 2 items won't take away the noise but they can adjust the volume to make it alot quieter than it really is.
♡ If you're on any medication that helps with energy increase it (if you know its safe) as this will help you have a Christmas where you might be able to stay awake for a little longer than previous years.
♡ Get all therapies or anything you do to help with pain or energy crammed in as close to Christmas day as possible as this will have a big impact on your body & how well you feel.
♡MUSIC~download or stream some music on your phone or any other device you have available, music always helps me to relax & I know it works foe alot of others.
♡Eye masks~I've never tried this & only just thought of it but if you don't want to leave your family & go to another room you could always zone out by putting headphones or earplugs (or by putting ear defenders on) & covering your eyes with a eye mask so you can't see or hear anything
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