There's so much more to life than just getting married or having kids,you spend so long dreaming about big white weddings & falling inlove ect I know i definitely have when I've been to ill to do anything. I also think I gave up on myself & decided that I'd basically just be in all day waiting for a guy to arrive home from work,I also think I thought that I'm gonna need constant care or looking after maybe rn I do alot of the time & maybe I always will (not this much but a little more than everyone else)
but that doesn't mean I can't stand on my 2 feet & do whatever I want because I don't give up even if I only do half the stuff I want I know I'll have done myself proud,I haven't finished school I haven't done even a quarter of the stuff people my age have but I've
done things they haven't mostly because they haven't had to but its made me alot braver & stronger.
I always thought that I needed someone to tell me I was gonna be okay or someone to just be there & when I'm exhausted I still do but this year I've filled my mind with so many stories of incredible women or people with illnesses doing incredible things some real life stories,some fiction but it's helped a incredible amount.
I've never had a problem with hardly anyone,I've never been bullied,looking back I did face discrimination during my school years quite alot but I always surrounded by people who I knew cared so until lately I never really thought about it,I've never felt unloved or unwanted until I got to the point when I realized I was ill. After that I felt more unwanted than ever,I've written about this alot but I somehow created a fantasy land to help deal with real life.
As a kid you're only ever taught about fairytales where people get saved from bad situations & for years I guess I thought that would happen at some point of course I wasn't thinking it would be as simple as that but I did think that someone would be able save me just from being able to love me through all the bad stuff,the way my parents always have.
I guess you could say I'm now scared to love or even let myself admit to myself that I think a guys attractive because if do I most likely get crushed.
I don't need some guy to save me like I've been thinking I do for years I need my family & the tiny amount of friends I have because I know they do love me & always will. I'm positive that if I do need anything in years to come there's always going to be people who will care & look after me if that's family friends or family friends there's always gonna be someone there so unlike how I've felt the past year I'm never going to be alone,there's always gonna be someone there & I'm not any less worthy or loveable because I've got all these problems,It's just harder to find the right people who will understand. Bit that doesn't mean there isn't some guy who could.
Right now I plan to get better for me not anyone else,I plan to stop caring what people think because really doesn't help at all,I still plan to believe in the unreal & let myself get lost in fantasy stories because I love them,so I'm letting go of them.
& most importantly I plan to find myself & save myself whilst trying to help others along the way.
I'm not some damsel in distress needing a prince I'm a warrior just like all the other female warriors/activists that proved we don't need saving by men but if we stick together we can achieve anything.
Sunday 3 December 2017
How to survive the Christmas season with a chronic ilness
I loved writing my pain management blog,being really proud of it its also one of my faves I have ever written. I also had alot of fun writing it as I felt it might be able to help someone,I also enjoyed researching it all & doing it in bullet points was really helpful for me as I still sometimes struggle to write.
As Christmas is soon upon us &I know most people have already started their celebrations or will soon I thought I'd write a list of things that I thought would help during the next month up until the new year celebrations,this is something I thought would also be useful to alot of people so I hope atleast one of these helps,even if it is only one person.
I know it's hard to pace yourself especially around this time of year but its so important to rest as much & as soon as possible I hope you all have an amazing Christmas & I know I can't take away your pain but I hope it eases enough for you to be able to enjoy yourself,also if you're worried about missing something anything interesting will probably get filmed or pictures will be taken of it so you won't miss anything at all.
I hope you enjoy this blog & I hope you all have an amazing Christmas.
List of ways to survive the Christmas season:
♡SLEEP~ I know its hard because you don't want to miss anything but if you need it you need it & if you don't rest or sleep as soon as possible your only going to start feeling worse.
♡Audiobooks~Take yourself off somewhere to go & zone out with a good book for a while,taking yourself to another place for a bit is a great way to not only relax but to get away from all the noise.
♡Watch or have Downloaded a good T.V show or film so you have something to watch whilst resting.
♡ Insert ear plugs or use ear defenders~this way you can still be in the room even if you're finding the noise hard to deal with as these 2 items won't take away the noise but they can adjust the volume to make it alot quieter than it really is.
♡ If you're on any medication that helps with energy increase it (if you know its safe) as this will help you have a Christmas where you might be able to stay awake for a little longer than previous years.
♡ Get all therapies or anything you do to help with pain or energy crammed in as close to Christmas day as possible as this will have a big impact on your body & how well you feel.
♡MUSIC~download or stream some music on your phone or any other device you have available, music always helps me to relax & I know it works foe alot of others.
♡Eye masks~I've never tried this & only just thought of it but if you don't want to leave your family & go to another room you could always zone out by putting headphones or earplugs (or by putting ear defenders on) & covering your eyes with a eye mask so you can't see or hear anything
As Christmas is soon upon us &I know most people have already started their celebrations or will soon I thought I'd write a list of things that I thought would help during the next month up until the new year celebrations,this is something I thought would also be useful to alot of people so I hope atleast one of these helps,even if it is only one person.
I know it's hard to pace yourself especially around this time of year but its so important to rest as much & as soon as possible I hope you all have an amazing Christmas & I know I can't take away your pain but I hope it eases enough for you to be able to enjoy yourself,also if you're worried about missing something anything interesting will probably get filmed or pictures will be taken of it so you won't miss anything at all.
I hope you enjoy this blog & I hope you all have an amazing Christmas.
List of ways to survive the Christmas season:
♡SLEEP~ I know its hard because you don't want to miss anything but if you need it you need it & if you don't rest or sleep as soon as possible your only going to start feeling worse.
♡Audiobooks~Take yourself off somewhere to go & zone out with a good book for a while,taking yourself to another place for a bit is a great way to not only relax but to get away from all the noise.
♡Watch or have Downloaded a good T.V show or film so you have something to watch whilst resting.
♡ Insert ear plugs or use ear defenders~this way you can still be in the room even if you're finding the noise hard to deal with as these 2 items won't take away the noise but they can adjust the volume to make it alot quieter than it really is.
♡ If you're on any medication that helps with energy increase it (if you know its safe) as this will help you have a Christmas where you might be able to stay awake for a little longer than previous years.
♡ Get all therapies or anything you do to help with pain or energy crammed in as close to Christmas day as possible as this will have a big impact on your body & how well you feel.
♡MUSIC~download or stream some music on your phone or any other device you have available, music always helps me to relax & I know it works foe alot of others.
♡Eye masks~I've never tried this & only just thought of it but if you don't want to leave your family & go to another room you could always zone out by putting headphones or earplugs (or by putting ear defenders on) & covering your eyes with a eye mask so you can't see or hear anything
Tuesday 28 November 2017
Hetty Feather review
I always feel a T.V show or book should move you in some way,make you feel or realize something or its failed its purpose,I felt a number of emotions whilst watching this show.
It wasn't 100% historically accurate & the charcters were to nice even the ones who came off nice but I think the mean charcters were as mean as they could have been made for a children's T.V show,I also loved how the bad charcters especially matron got slowly more & more evil as the series progressed,I also loved how the people around them kept trying to stop them or get them caught but failed until the very end when they all got what they deserved.
As you guys know I'm a sucker for a love story & even tho this show was made for kids I absolutely loved all the little pices of romance Harriet and Mithius waa the the cutest thing this was built up from all 3 series.by the end of series 3 you could definitely see how much they loved eachother. It was adorable to watch and I think for actors so young to pull that off was pretty amazing & I really hope we get to see more of this story when they arrive in New.York.
I also loved the romance between nurse Winterson & the constable which was a random love story but developed over a few episodes with them not being able to be together becuase of work so having to reject the other to the constable proposing & them finally getting to be together,I'm really hoping that in series 4 we get to actually see more of there relationship or maybe even to see them get married & raise a family.
Although I say all of this I wish Hetty & Vince got more of a storyline there was one episode where they had to work together started playing games in the flour. Vince then got Hetty a Dominoes set & they played together but Vince being Vince is messing with someone & it ends up in a fight but I think they should have maybe given it another few episodes after this one or started a storyline between them in a earlier sires,I'd love to maybe see them bump into eachother in later life & end up together,that could be intresting.
There were alot of individual storylines I enjoyed thought these 3 series so I'll start with series 1 & pick a few of my favrouites
The very 1st epiosode shows Mithius running away I thought this was done really well especially with the whole escape being planned & carried out then him coming back,this only being found out as someone had began stealing food,Gus made you feel so believable & I love how Mithius was so petrified he would do anything against his friends to keep anything else happening to him (getting any type of punishment) but soon realizes that he needs his friends & they need him.
I belive this is a important lesson because its teaching kids that you need to face up to your mistakes, not run away from them &also be prepared to face punishment,it also shows the importance of sticking up for your friends & standing your ground when you know somthing isn't right.
Another 1 of my favourite from series 1 was one where Eliza comes back & Hetty gets really upset because Jem has shared their secret squirrel house with her, also never mentioning her to Eliza so she gets really upset, her friends all help to get Jem to the hospital by sending a letter using invisible ink along with Eliza's letter, Jem then comes & tells Hetty that he hasn't forgotten her but never mentioned her to Eliza because he was still upset about her having to go back to the hospital,despite all this we only ever see Eliza
a handful of times when she juniors have to move into the seniors room, Eliza then loses all her friends as she keeps sucking up to Hetty & gets upset when Hetty keeps a letter from Jem from her.
I think this shows life from the perspective of a child with the elements of fun that Jem has given Eliza,it also gives us a insight into Jem's emotions about having to leave Hetty & Gideon as we get to see how he is clearly still upset & angry about it.
This also gets Hetty to open up about her past life with Jem & how for years she's been beliving that he's coming to save her,this has been the only thing keeping her going without that she gets so down,proving how powerful somones imagination or belief system can be I think this important to see because I think people forget that when things get hard people tend to make stuff up to keep themselves going. Allowing them to live lives that don't really exist.
I also loved the couple of episodes that ended series 1 with Hetty having to look after Charlotte, these couple of episodes showed you that even the rich & poor could/can have things in common & that everyone no matter who you are you are always need at least 1 friend, at the end of the series Hetty runs away to the circus to find Madame Adeline who she thinks is her mother but turns out not to be.
this shows Hetty at her most venerable as she really believes this lady is her mother then she realizes she isn’t & realizes the reality of her life ,this is interesting as she then has to figure out who she wants to be again, I think children need to hear/see this message on screen to make them realize that plans can change but that’s okay as even if it takes a while you can adjust & go along with them.
There is one episode where Matron brings back a girl she has sold because there has been a fire in the mill where she sold her.
Blanche (the girl from the mill) starts causing trouble amongst the other girls & also sucks up to matron alot, when she finally starts to fit in then her friend from the mill shows up & she has to help her escape, in the end they end up leaving together Blanche to go to work as a servant in a wealthy household & Jess (her friend) to go to a hostel for homeless girls, it was intresting to see this friendship along with the friendships that Blanche also managed to make during her time at the foundling hospital. It was also attention grabbing to see a dodgy Victorian deal as its probably not somthing that would come to mind as you think of the Victorian era so getting to see another part of Victorian history was a good history lesson
Another episode where we get to see what Matron is really like is the Jack in the box episode where she uses all the foundlings are slaves to make toys for a dodgy busniess so she can make some extra money, the paint starts to make the children sick so they sabotage the toys by cutting all the wires so they won’t pop up. Matron’s plan then ends with her getting no money (as she can’t sell the toys) Matron gets more evil throughout the series & by the end she tries to send Hetty to a mill telling her that she’s sending her to be with her mother. Hetty manages to escape & gets matron expossed for all her crimes. Matron manages to escape & Hetty goes into service in the Calendar household but she keeps a book containing all of Matron’s dodgy deals, of course Matron wants her book back which ends with the Calendars eldest daughter Emily being kidnapped. Emily has dressed up as a servant so she can go for a tutoring session as she wants to become a doctor when 2 boys working for Mr.Grace ( the man Matron does deals with) go to get the book, as they can’t find it they kidnap who they think is Hetty eventually Emily returns home safely and Matron & Mr. Grace get what they deserve. These storylines were some of the best as they show the sort of dodgy deals that would have taken place in Victorian London, the hardships of Victorian life factory life & show a handful of friendships,hard work,plots & people working together to make a difference.
One storyline I found the most interesting was the friendship with Hetty & Ida,Hetty only found out Ida was her mother after being put in the tench, Ida knew she wouldn’t be able to claim Hetty as she didn’t have a stable job or husband but seeing Hetty suffering so much made everything slip out,when Matron finds out Ida loses her job at the hospital,but Hetty is determined to find her so goes out looking whilst doing this she meets a flower seller named Sissy who she befriends & helps her sell her flowers. Before getting taken back to the foundling hospital by Miss.Smith.
Hetty's relationship with Ida was very intresting as Ida just started out as some random kitchen maid but as time grew on Hetty started to trust Ida more & more,ut was only because of Hetty being put in the tench that we discover who Ida really is,What I loved about this was that in a show that's based around these children having been given up as babies so there isn't really any family connections other than the ones Hetty has with Jem & Eliza but as for most of these children they know nothing of any family so to get to see Hetty & Ida's relationship develop was really intresting & touching. It also gave the show some wamth,I think this is really important because the show can be quite cold at times.
I also liked how the T.V show was in some ways very different from the books,in the books we only get to see Hetty & the girls lives throughout their time at the hospital although in some ways I wish the T.V show was the same to the books as I found Hetty's tales after she leaves the hospital very interesting as their was always alot going on & she was in a new setting almost every book. I'm not quite sure how her now being in one place with family will work as well although I would love to find out more about the Calandars as all we know so far is that they have lived in India & that they are rich so this needs elaborating on a bit, but there is something mysterious about the way they won't let Edwin leave the house & I think we need to find out what condition he has,I also think Emily Calendar wanting to become a doctor could potentially become a very interesting story especially if her parents allow her to follow it.
but I'm also hoping that the series wont completely revolve around the calendars or their household so much so that Hetty will get to see other parts of the country & maybe even, I'm also hoping that we maybe get to see her go back to her foster family or meet up with old friends/ acquaintances along the way.
Whilst watching series 4 I hope we somehow get to see some of the characters from the founding hospital,I also think it would be interesting if we got to see Walter & his dad reunite as they've already met once so they know who the other is or any foundings finding their parents or any other relations.
I hope you guys liked this review,I've now decided that I probably won't write anymore reviews for T.V shows that are over a series long & if I do I'll probably write them series by series as this took over a month to write & I nearly gave up on it more than once,but I really hope that if you read this far you enjoyed it especially as it took so long to write.
It wasn't 100% historically accurate & the charcters were to nice even the ones who came off nice but I think the mean charcters were as mean as they could have been made for a children's T.V show,I also loved how the bad charcters especially matron got slowly more & more evil as the series progressed,I also loved how the people around them kept trying to stop them or get them caught but failed until the very end when they all got what they deserved.
As you guys know I'm a sucker for a love story & even tho this show was made for kids I absolutely loved all the little pices of romance Harriet and Mithius waa the the cutest thing this was built up from all 3 series.by the end of series 3 you could definitely see how much they loved eachother. It was adorable to watch and I think for actors so young to pull that off was pretty amazing & I really hope we get to see more of this story when they arrive in New.York.
I also loved the romance between nurse Winterson & the constable which was a random love story but developed over a few episodes with them not being able to be together becuase of work so having to reject the other to the constable proposing & them finally getting to be together,I'm really hoping that in series 4 we get to actually see more of there relationship or maybe even to see them get married & raise a family.
Although I say all of this I wish Hetty & Vince got more of a storyline there was one episode where they had to work together started playing games in the flour. Vince then got Hetty a Dominoes set & they played together but Vince being Vince is messing with someone & it ends up in a fight but I think they should have maybe given it another few episodes after this one or started a storyline between them in a earlier sires,I'd love to maybe see them bump into eachother in later life & end up together,that could be intresting.
There were alot of individual storylines I enjoyed thought these 3 series so I'll start with series 1 & pick a few of my favrouites
The very 1st epiosode shows Mithius running away I thought this was done really well especially with the whole escape being planned & carried out then him coming back,this only being found out as someone had began stealing food,Gus made you feel so believable & I love how Mithius was so petrified he would do anything against his friends to keep anything else happening to him (getting any type of punishment) but soon realizes that he needs his friends & they need him.
I belive this is a important lesson because its teaching kids that you need to face up to your mistakes, not run away from them &also be prepared to face punishment,it also shows the importance of sticking up for your friends & standing your ground when you know somthing isn't right.
Another 1 of my favourite from series 1 was one where Eliza comes back & Hetty gets really upset because Jem has shared their secret squirrel house with her, also never mentioning her to Eliza so she gets really upset, her friends all help to get Jem to the hospital by sending a letter using invisible ink along with Eliza's letter, Jem then comes & tells Hetty that he hasn't forgotten her but never mentioned her to Eliza because he was still upset about her having to go back to the hospital,despite all this we only ever see Eliza
a handful of times when she juniors have to move into the seniors room, Eliza then loses all her friends as she keeps sucking up to Hetty & gets upset when Hetty keeps a letter from Jem from her.
I think this shows life from the perspective of a child with the elements of fun that Jem has given Eliza,it also gives us a insight into Jem's emotions about having to leave Hetty & Gideon as we get to see how he is clearly still upset & angry about it.
This also gets Hetty to open up about her past life with Jem & how for years she's been beliving that he's coming to save her,this has been the only thing keeping her going without that she gets so down,proving how powerful somones imagination or belief system can be I think this important to see because I think people forget that when things get hard people tend to make stuff up to keep themselves going. Allowing them to live lives that don't really exist.
I also loved the couple of episodes that ended series 1 with Hetty having to look after Charlotte, these couple of episodes showed you that even the rich & poor could/can have things in common & that everyone no matter who you are you are always need at least 1 friend, at the end of the series Hetty runs away to the circus to find Madame Adeline who she thinks is her mother but turns out not to be.
this shows Hetty at her most venerable as she really believes this lady is her mother then she realizes she isn’t & realizes the reality of her life ,this is interesting as she then has to figure out who she wants to be again, I think children need to hear/see this message on screen to make them realize that plans can change but that’s okay as even if it takes a while you can adjust & go along with them.
There is one episode where Matron brings back a girl she has sold because there has been a fire in the mill where she sold her.
Blanche (the girl from the mill) starts causing trouble amongst the other girls & also sucks up to matron alot, when she finally starts to fit in then her friend from the mill shows up & she has to help her escape, in the end they end up leaving together Blanche to go to work as a servant in a wealthy household & Jess (her friend) to go to a hostel for homeless girls, it was intresting to see this friendship along with the friendships that Blanche also managed to make during her time at the foundling hospital. It was also attention grabbing to see a dodgy Victorian deal as its probably not somthing that would come to mind as you think of the Victorian era so getting to see another part of Victorian history was a good history lesson
Another episode where we get to see what Matron is really like is the Jack in the box episode where she uses all the foundlings are slaves to make toys for a dodgy busniess so she can make some extra money, the paint starts to make the children sick so they sabotage the toys by cutting all the wires so they won’t pop up. Matron’s plan then ends with her getting no money (as she can’t sell the toys) Matron gets more evil throughout the series & by the end she tries to send Hetty to a mill telling her that she’s sending her to be with her mother. Hetty manages to escape & gets matron expossed for all her crimes. Matron manages to escape & Hetty goes into service in the Calendar household but she keeps a book containing all of Matron’s dodgy deals, of course Matron wants her book back which ends with the Calendars eldest daughter Emily being kidnapped. Emily has dressed up as a servant so she can go for a tutoring session as she wants to become a doctor when 2 boys working for Mr.Grace ( the man Matron does deals with) go to get the book, as they can’t find it they kidnap who they think is Hetty eventually Emily returns home safely and Matron & Mr. Grace get what they deserve. These storylines were some of the best as they show the sort of dodgy deals that would have taken place in Victorian London, the hardships of Victorian life factory life & show a handful of friendships,hard work,plots & people working together to make a difference.
One storyline I found the most interesting was the friendship with Hetty & Ida,Hetty only found out Ida was her mother after being put in the tench, Ida knew she wouldn’t be able to claim Hetty as she didn’t have a stable job or husband but seeing Hetty suffering so much made everything slip out,when Matron finds out Ida loses her job at the hospital,but Hetty is determined to find her so goes out looking whilst doing this she meets a flower seller named Sissy who she befriends & helps her sell her flowers. Before getting taken back to the foundling hospital by Miss.Smith.
Hetty's relationship with Ida was very intresting as Ida just started out as some random kitchen maid but as time grew on Hetty started to trust Ida more & more,ut was only because of Hetty being put in the tench that we discover who Ida really is,What I loved about this was that in a show that's based around these children having been given up as babies so there isn't really any family connections other than the ones Hetty has with Jem & Eliza but as for most of these children they know nothing of any family so to get to see Hetty & Ida's relationship develop was really intresting & touching. It also gave the show some wamth,I think this is really important because the show can be quite cold at times.
I also liked how the T.V show was in some ways very different from the books,in the books we only get to see Hetty & the girls lives throughout their time at the hospital although in some ways I wish the T.V show was the same to the books as I found Hetty's tales after she leaves the hospital very interesting as their was always alot going on & she was in a new setting almost every book. I'm not quite sure how her now being in one place with family will work as well although I would love to find out more about the Calandars as all we know so far is that they have lived in India & that they are rich so this needs elaborating on a bit, but there is something mysterious about the way they won't let Edwin leave the house & I think we need to find out what condition he has,I also think Emily Calendar wanting to become a doctor could potentially become a very interesting story especially if her parents allow her to follow it.
but I'm also hoping that the series wont completely revolve around the calendars or their household so much so that Hetty will get to see other parts of the country & maybe even, I'm also hoping that we maybe get to see her go back to her foster family or meet up with old friends/ acquaintances along the way.
Whilst watching series 4 I hope we somehow get to see some of the characters from the founding hospital,I also think it would be interesting if we got to see Walter & his dad reunite as they've already met once so they know who the other is or any foundings finding their parents or any other relations.
I hope you guys liked this review,I've now decided that I probably won't write anymore reviews for T.V shows that are over a series long & if I do I'll probably write them series by series as this took over a month to write & I nearly gave up on it more than once,but I really hope that if you read this far you enjoyed it especially as it took so long to write.
Thursday 23 November 2017
Pain management
About a week ago I found myself giving advice on this to quite a few people,I'm not really sure why but I sow alot of IG stories of people saying they were having flare ups (I follow quite a few chronic ilness accounts) or in really bad pain. So of course I tried to advise them on what Iv'e found useful, I>http://www.aor.org.uk/home/what-is-reflexology used to spend alot of time in pain,I spent alot of time crying up at night in pain & although I still spend time in pain as its constantly there 24/7 with the occasional flare up its a lot more managable now.
I'm not sure if any of those people who I tried to advise took anything I said on board at all but after giving them advicw I wanted to write somthing to try to help anyone stuck where I was a couple of years ago,being in constant pain is 1 of the worst things you can ever experience so if I can help even one person ease there's I'll feel like I've done some good.
So heres a list of things Iv'e found useful: (i'll put study links or links for more information after I've written about how its helped me)
♡Ice ~ I lived on ice packs when I 1st started expirencing chronic pain,the only problem with ice packs is them being to cold or you having to hold them in place so it would be easier to find some sort of ice pack/product that you don't have to hold in place,I know alot of sports people have ice baths after injuries or even just after playing so if it works for minor pain/injuries its gonna work even better for higher levels of pain & its really worked for me
♡ Heat~ Heat patches or hot water bottles also work really well or do atleast for me,I'm not sure what makes the heat ease the pain (I should probably look into that) but take it from me it really does work.
> How to sucsessfully treat pain with hot & cold & what not to do (I didn't know some of this & Iv'e been using heat & ice for years so its defintly worth a read) https://www.healthline.com/health/chronic-pain/treating-pain-with-heat-and-cold
♡Reflexology ~ I'd describe this as foot masage,by massaging your feet the holistic therapist can then see what part of your body is hurting the most (every part of your foot connects to a part of your body) & by massaging that erea it somehow releases the pain from whatever part of your body hurting,It's really helped me because It gives me a heads up on what part of my body I need to focus on trying to move more. (on good days)
It has also amazing to be able to pin point the main cause of pain as I expirence so much of it but this gives me some sort of idea of what is causing what & of course having somone realese a bit the pain makes it alot easier to do things as I'm more able to move around & it also allows me to get better quality sleep as I'm not up during the night.
>http://www.aor.org.uk/home/what-is-reflexology
> A link to learn about other holistic treatments~
www.gemmaclare.com/what-is-holistic-therapy/health-benefits-of-holistic-therapy/
♡Reiki~ In a way is like hypnotitsm its based around the idea that the therapist can channel energy into the patient by simply touching or hovering thier hands over the patients body to activate natural healing processes whilst restoring physical & emotinal well being to that person, I belive this has had such a goid effect on me as it makes you calm & allows you to relax,taking your mind away from everything else going on around you/in your life.
>Reki explained better than I can:
http://www.reiki.org/faq/whatisreiki.html
> https://iarp.org/learn-about-reiki/
>https://www.reikiassociation.net/what-is-reiki.php
♡Oxygen therapy~ I can't begin to tell how much this has helped in my recovery before starting I was asleep most days I couldn't read or write,my life wasn't going anywhere about a year & 6 months later Iv'e taught myself how to read & write again,somthing I now do almost daily, I hardly nap in the day unless I'm having a off day or got a cold & the pain has lessend so much like I said I'm still in constant pain but as its less I can cope with it alot better, I'm also hardly ever awake at night in pain because its been reduced so much it allows me to sleep.
There's also been studies carried out that prove it can reverse the effects of a ilness which is defintly true in my case especially as my head is now clearer so I can do the things I used to love.
More about Oxygen treatment:
https://www.hyperbaricoxygentherapy.org.uk/what-is-hbot
♡ physio/movment~
I hate physio it's the worst thing ever & although its alot better now I still sometimes find myself crying after it,but I do know that without it I'd be in alot worse place as my joints would just seize up,as much as it hurts you need to keep moving otherwise the pain will get worse.
(don't need any links attached to this as it seems pretty obvious)
I'm not sure if any of those people who I tried to advise took anything I said on board at all but after giving them advicw I wanted to write somthing to try to help anyone stuck where I was a couple of years ago,being in constant pain is 1 of the worst things you can ever experience so if I can help even one person ease there's I'll feel like I've done some good.
So heres a list of things Iv'e found useful: (i'll put study links or links for more information after I've written about how its helped me)
♡Ice ~ I lived on ice packs when I 1st started expirencing chronic pain,the only problem with ice packs is them being to cold or you having to hold them in place so it would be easier to find some sort of ice pack/product that you don't have to hold in place,I know alot of sports people have ice baths after injuries or even just after playing so if it works for minor pain/injuries its gonna work even better for higher levels of pain & its really worked for me
♡ Heat~ Heat patches or hot water bottles also work really well or do atleast for me,I'm not sure what makes the heat ease the pain (I should probably look into that) but take it from me it really does work.
> How to sucsessfully treat pain with hot & cold & what not to do (I didn't know some of this & Iv'e been using heat & ice for years so its defintly worth a read) https://www.healthline.com/health/chronic-pain/treating-pain-with-heat-and-cold
♡Reflexology ~ I'd describe this as foot masage,by massaging your feet the holistic therapist can then see what part of your body is hurting the most (every part of your foot connects to a part of your body) & by massaging that erea it somehow releases the pain from whatever part of your body hurting,It's really helped me because It gives me a heads up on what part of my body I need to focus on trying to move more. (on good days)
It has also amazing to be able to pin point the main cause of pain as I expirence so much of it but this gives me some sort of idea of what is causing what & of course having somone realese a bit the pain makes it alot easier to do things as I'm more able to move around & it also allows me to get better quality sleep as I'm not up during the night.
>http://www.aor.org.uk/home/what-is-reflexology
> A link to learn about other holistic treatments~
www.gemmaclare.com/what-is-holistic-therapy/health-benefits-of-holistic-therapy/
♡Reiki~ In a way is like hypnotitsm its based around the idea that the therapist can channel energy into the patient by simply touching or hovering thier hands over the patients body to activate natural healing processes whilst restoring physical & emotinal well being to that person, I belive this has had such a goid effect on me as it makes you calm & allows you to relax,taking your mind away from everything else going on around you/in your life.
>Reki explained better than I can:
http://www.reiki.org/faq/whatisreiki.html
> https://iarp.org/learn-about-reiki/
>https://www.reikiassociation.net/what-is-reiki.php
♡Oxygen therapy~ I can't begin to tell how much this has helped in my recovery before starting I was asleep most days I couldn't read or write,my life wasn't going anywhere about a year & 6 months later Iv'e taught myself how to read & write again,somthing I now do almost daily, I hardly nap in the day unless I'm having a off day or got a cold & the pain has lessend so much like I said I'm still in constant pain but as its less I can cope with it alot better, I'm also hardly ever awake at night in pain because its been reduced so much it allows me to sleep.
There's also been studies carried out that prove it can reverse the effects of a ilness which is defintly true in my case especially as my head is now clearer so I can do the things I used to love.
More about Oxygen treatment:
https://www.hyperbaricoxygentherapy.org.uk/what-is-hbot
♡ physio/movment~
I hate physio it's the worst thing ever & although its alot better now I still sometimes find myself crying after it,but I do know that without it I'd be in alot worse place as my joints would just seize up,as much as it hurts you need to keep moving otherwise the pain will get worse.
(don't need any links attached to this as it seems pretty obvious)
Sunday 12 November 2017
Good Girls Revolt Review
Brief synopsis: A Amozon original series based on Lynn Povich's book & Set in 1969~1970, a group of women who work for a newspaper fight against sexual discrimination in a battle to become reporters.
One of the obvious that came to mind before I began to watch this was that there was gonna be a lot of women in unhappy marriages, using guys to get higher up jobs & basically just being slaves to them so I wasn't to surprised when one of the first scenes of episode one was a sex scene.
I'm gonna start off with characters & their back story's,what I liked & disliked about them as I feel this is a good place to start & with
l also break it up a bit.
Cindy: At 1st I thought Cindy was really dull but then as the episodes went on I realized that I could really relate to her,at the start of the series Cindy doesn't know who she I think deep down she knows what she wants but her husband's told her she has 1 year as a reporter for News of the week before the has to give it up to start raising a family,from the very start its clear to see she's not happy about this or anything surrounding her life. She then begins to make friends with Pati who helps her find true self also making her realize she wants more than just to raise a family,get old &die.
She becomes a lot more confident & begins to drink (a lot) ,start partying and also ends up having a affair with the photographer Ned. Cindy really believes that Ned loves her,after her husband finds out about the affair Ned takes her home as she has nowhere else to go but the best day he tells her that it was "just a bit of fun" & that he never really cared for her. Not gonna lie at this point I cried my eyes out & actually got quite angry. Cindy She then goes home & tries to fix her broken marriage. She ends up leaving Lenny for good after telling him about the law suit, Lenny (Cindy'husband) gets aggressive,abusive & violent leaving Cindy with a cut down her cheek.
What I liked about Cindy's character was how she discovered who she wanted to be then made a point of following it through,she starts to believe & stand up for herself,by doing this she gains a lot of respect,I think that sends out a important message about finding yourself,being who you wanna be & being resilient.
I also loved how we sow Cindy's venerable side especially with the affair all she wants is to feel loved & Ned is doing that she just presumes that he means it. I feel like a lot of people can relate to this but its also interesting to see someone in this situation,her reaction to this is to basically sob & get drunk but she also knows that she can go to Pati & that she's always got a genuine friend in her that she can go to with her full trust,she also knows that Pati is gonna give her full support as well as whatever else she needs
their friendship really shows how someone else can come into your life & help you realize what you want & what true friendship is by the always be there when you need someone to lean on.
Jane: I only started to like Jane probably halfway through the series or later,she was very stuck up, brought up by a rich family & would suck up to whoever was at the top but towards the end of the series much like Cindy she realizes what she wants . Jane breaks up with her boyfriend after she thinks he's taking to long to ask for her hand in marriage,she then also decides that she wants to become a writer & not just a reporter she finds out about the other girls plan to sue news of the week but decides to ask if she can write a article ,they steal her ideas but get another woman outside of the paper to write the article so she decides to join the other girls with the law suit.
Again this shows that you shouldn't just put up with something if you think its wrong & that you have to fight,Jane also comes out of her shell with the help of the other girls which again shows how much even one persons friendship can help someone grow.
Pati: Pati was my fave for day 1 it's always good to see a strong willed character, unlike the other 2 characters I've mentioned Pati knew right from the start what she wanted & that it was unfair that she couldn't have it.
In the very 1st episode we see Pati go completely out her way for a news story on a fight during a concert,with the help of the other girls Pati's research takes her to another state where she ends up interviewing a backing dancer & groupe.
Although Pati going out her way to
get good research for a article she fails
to tell her boyfriend this (who also works for the paper)
so he then just presumes she stood him up,Pati then confides in
Doug (her boyfriend) about her 18 year old sisters marriage as she thinks her sister is moving to quickly & doesn't want her sister to become a slave to a man meaning she won't be following her dreams. Pati tells him she thinks her sister is capable of a lot more than she is allowing herself to do. after processing everything,Doug then decides to break up with Pati telling her she's to complicated for him as she wants more than just being his wife. Doug & Pati's relationship has a lot of ups & downs mostly because Pati knows what she wants but Doug can't ever seem to be able to support her properly so they end up fighting & break up.
I think in a way he wants her to be like all the other girls because it would be easier for him but I think deep down he also wants to help her achieve her dreams but just can't bring himself to do it as doing so would also lose him a lot of friends,I think he also knows Pati is right but he's to stubborn & stuck in the past to admit what he knows.
Pati also has a fling with her boss Finn & at the end of the series runs to tell Finn about the law suit but spots the feminist article (the 1 Jane wanted to write) on the cover of the newspaper,realizing Finn & all the other men have gone completely against what she suggested she decides against it & goes back to the other girls.
Pati's character taught me a lot about belief,standing up for myself,working hard,knowing what I want & not giving up.
Although I loved the series I feel really annoyed that it didn't get picked up for another season & even more annoyed that it got left on a cliff hanger.
what I loved about this show the most was all the friendships,all the girls looking out for each other, standing up for themselves, realizing what they want,realizing what they don't want & being independent. I all the historical aspect but do also feel that some of the storylines could have been expanded on in more detail as I feel there was a lot of information that wasn't explained although I'm not sure if it just went over the top of my head of it it was down to it not being explained.
I feel like I should talk more about the men in this show but I think I've kind of said all I can say none of them really seemed to be in love with their wives\girlfriends as they were constantly having affairs for fun. They also seemed to be quite aggressive & angry quite a lot of the time especially after finding out about the law suit.
my fave man in this show would have to be Doug because I think his heart was in the right place I just think he was confused as to why Pati wouldn't just put up with it but he kept running back to her & had no other lover so he seems the most & only loyal guy in this show even tho he was a jerk most of the time.
This show also made me realize what I want,I've spent so long thinking that because I'm ill I'm capable of nothing & if I'm honest with you all (Idk how many people are gonna read this but you know..) I decided my entire adult life would be sitting at home all day waiting for a guy to come home from work,not actually doing or achieving anything.
I still want what I've wanted since being a kid I want to write,realizing this I got really upset because people aren't gonna wanna hire someone who's ill or likely to need time off as there is still probably going to be times where I am ill & can't do things.
I think that was because of the whole school situation,but then I realized that no company can really refuse to give me a job on those grounds because that's discrimination & I could sue.
I've spent the past few months completely confused about love because in my mind if I love someone they should love me (basically have the mind of a 5 year old) but I realized that I don't need someone to love people already do I don't need a bf I need a decent career which I will get if I work hard & try really hard to get better I thought all this was impossible but even if that means starting my own company or whatever I need to do I now think I can.
I wanna tell peoples stories, I want to move people or be able to make them smile or feel better & more than anything want to give sick people a voice & make sure they know there not alone. which is way more important
than what I thought was the most important thing ever, its not that comes later (if it ever does) this show made me realize what's important. this show taught me to believe in myself but most importantly of all to keep fighting for what's right even when other people don't believe in you.
One of the obvious that came to mind before I began to watch this was that there was gonna be a lot of women in unhappy marriages, using guys to get higher up jobs & basically just being slaves to them so I wasn't to surprised when one of the first scenes of episode one was a sex scene.
I'm gonna start off with characters & their back story's,what I liked & disliked about them as I feel this is a good place to start & with
l also break it up a bit.
Cindy: At 1st I thought Cindy was really dull but then as the episodes went on I realized that I could really relate to her,at the start of the series Cindy doesn't know who she I think deep down she knows what she wants but her husband's told her she has 1 year as a reporter for News of the week before the has to give it up to start raising a family,from the very start its clear to see she's not happy about this or anything surrounding her life. She then begins to make friends with Pati who helps her find true self also making her realize she wants more than just to raise a family,get old &die.
She becomes a lot more confident & begins to drink (a lot) ,start partying and also ends up having a affair with the photographer Ned. Cindy really believes that Ned loves her,after her husband finds out about the affair Ned takes her home as she has nowhere else to go but the best day he tells her that it was "just a bit of fun" & that he never really cared for her. Not gonna lie at this point I cried my eyes out & actually got quite angry. Cindy She then goes home & tries to fix her broken marriage. She ends up leaving Lenny for good after telling him about the law suit, Lenny (Cindy'husband) gets aggressive,abusive & violent leaving Cindy with a cut down her cheek.
What I liked about Cindy's character was how she discovered who she wanted to be then made a point of following it through,she starts to believe & stand up for herself,by doing this she gains a lot of respect,I think that sends out a important message about finding yourself,being who you wanna be & being resilient.
I also loved how we sow Cindy's venerable side especially with the affair all she wants is to feel loved & Ned is doing that she just presumes that he means it. I feel like a lot of people can relate to this but its also interesting to see someone in this situation,her reaction to this is to basically sob & get drunk but she also knows that she can go to Pati & that she's always got a genuine friend in her that she can go to with her full trust,she also knows that Pati is gonna give her full support as well as whatever else she needs
their friendship really shows how someone else can come into your life & help you realize what you want & what true friendship is by the always be there when you need someone to lean on.
Jane: I only started to like Jane probably halfway through the series or later,she was very stuck up, brought up by a rich family & would suck up to whoever was at the top but towards the end of the series much like Cindy she realizes what she wants . Jane breaks up with her boyfriend after she thinks he's taking to long to ask for her hand in marriage,she then also decides that she wants to become a writer & not just a reporter she finds out about the other girls plan to sue news of the week but decides to ask if she can write a article ,they steal her ideas but get another woman outside of the paper to write the article so she decides to join the other girls with the law suit.
Again this shows that you shouldn't just put up with something if you think its wrong & that you have to fight,Jane also comes out of her shell with the help of the other girls which again shows how much even one persons friendship can help someone grow.
Pati: Pati was my fave for day 1 it's always good to see a strong willed character, unlike the other 2 characters I've mentioned Pati knew right from the start what she wanted & that it was unfair that she couldn't have it.
In the very 1st episode we see Pati go completely out her way for a news story on a fight during a concert,with the help of the other girls Pati's research takes her to another state where she ends up interviewing a backing dancer & groupe.
Although Pati going out her way to
get good research for a article she fails
to tell her boyfriend this (who also works for the paper)
so he then just presumes she stood him up,Pati then confides in
Doug (her boyfriend) about her 18 year old sisters marriage as she thinks her sister is moving to quickly & doesn't want her sister to become a slave to a man meaning she won't be following her dreams. Pati tells him she thinks her sister is capable of a lot more than she is allowing herself to do. after processing everything,Doug then decides to break up with Pati telling her she's to complicated for him as she wants more than just being his wife. Doug & Pati's relationship has a lot of ups & downs mostly because Pati knows what she wants but Doug can't ever seem to be able to support her properly so they end up fighting & break up.
I think in a way he wants her to be like all the other girls because it would be easier for him but I think deep down he also wants to help her achieve her dreams but just can't bring himself to do it as doing so would also lose him a lot of friends,I think he also knows Pati is right but he's to stubborn & stuck in the past to admit what he knows.
Pati also has a fling with her boss Finn & at the end of the series runs to tell Finn about the law suit but spots the feminist article (the 1 Jane wanted to write) on the cover of the newspaper,realizing Finn & all the other men have gone completely against what she suggested she decides against it & goes back to the other girls.
Pati's character taught me a lot about belief,standing up for myself,working hard,knowing what I want & not giving up.
Although I loved the series I feel really annoyed that it didn't get picked up for another season & even more annoyed that it got left on a cliff hanger.
what I loved about this show the most was all the friendships,all the girls looking out for each other, standing up for themselves, realizing what they want,realizing what they don't want & being independent. I all the historical aspect but do also feel that some of the storylines could have been expanded on in more detail as I feel there was a lot of information that wasn't explained although I'm not sure if it just went over the top of my head of it it was down to it not being explained.
I feel like I should talk more about the men in this show but I think I've kind of said all I can say none of them really seemed to be in love with their wives\girlfriends as they were constantly having affairs for fun. They also seemed to be quite aggressive & angry quite a lot of the time especially after finding out about the law suit.
my fave man in this show would have to be Doug because I think his heart was in the right place I just think he was confused as to why Pati wouldn't just put up with it but he kept running back to her & had no other lover so he seems the most & only loyal guy in this show even tho he was a jerk most of the time.
This show also made me realize what I want,I've spent so long thinking that because I'm ill I'm capable of nothing & if I'm honest with you all (Idk how many people are gonna read this but you know..) I decided my entire adult life would be sitting at home all day waiting for a guy to come home from work,not actually doing or achieving anything.
I still want what I've wanted since being a kid I want to write,realizing this I got really upset because people aren't gonna wanna hire someone who's ill or likely to need time off as there is still probably going to be times where I am ill & can't do things.
I think that was because of the whole school situation,but then I realized that no company can really refuse to give me a job on those grounds because that's discrimination & I could sue.
I've spent the past few months completely confused about love because in my mind if I love someone they should love me (basically have the mind of a 5 year old) but I realized that I don't need someone to love people already do I don't need a bf I need a decent career which I will get if I work hard & try really hard to get better I thought all this was impossible but even if that means starting my own company or whatever I need to do I now think I can.
I wanna tell peoples stories, I want to move people or be able to make them smile or feel better & more than anything want to give sick people a voice & make sure they know there not alone. which is way more important
than what I thought was the most important thing ever, its not that comes later (if it ever does) this show made me realize what's important. this show taught me to believe in myself but most importantly of all to keep fighting for what's right even when other people don't believe in you.
Tuesday 24 October 2017
Discrimination & a note to all my chronically ill friends
I found this blog post in my old phone notes this is something that has been going around in my head for a while,over thr past few months &I feel like I need to write about it.
thanks to the internet I've spoken & gotten to know some amazing individuals. Many of whom have similar diffuculties to me or who go through/have been through a hell of alot more than me,all teenagers or young adults who have inspired me to want to write something in honour of how much they've inspired me.
All of these people have got similar experiences to me&all of a similar age I've spoken to a quite a few people from everything from being abandoned by friends,school, hospitals to sleeping all day,not getting out or being able to have a normal or proper life.
Your teenage years are supossed to be some of the best years of your life when you can go out&be free, if you can't you can very isolated,eveything gets questioned especially why you should be the one stuck in doors when you see everyone else doing things you could only dream of or might not ever a chance to do. People stop caring or coming to see you or showing any sign of caring at all,you feel completly forgotten which not only makes you feel like a boring person but it makes you wonder why people who you would do anything for won't do the same for you.
I've spent alot of time over the past few years doubting myself over the past as eveything I seem to do goes wrong so whenever something good does come along I spend alot of time worrying that it will or that my health will stop me from doing it. I've also spent alot of the past few years looking back to even to when I was a child & realizing that even then although I never really thought about it at the time I obviously thought it was unfair but fogot about it as I was a very happy kid & spent most of the time laughing (as I do now)
But over the past few years started to wonder why people never chose me for anything,why was I the one who didn't get picked for anything or have the opportunities like my peers did? Why was that fair? Of course it all comes down to being ill. Sick people don't get the same opportunities as everyone else,which in my opinion is wrong. I also realized that even as I kid I faced discrimimintion for this eveyone deserves the same chances no matter who they are or where they come from. What is very intresting is that I know that if I went and spent a few months with a group of kids (toddlers or young kids) they wouldn't care who I was or that I had problems they'd love me anyway so what changes when we get older? What happens to us that makes us hate ceartian people? Or discriminate against them? I'm not saying this is all people but it is most of them
Everyone should be equal you get activists for womans rights or gay rights,animal rights but there's not alot of activists for sick peoples rights,if your an activist for sick people rights they are probably someone caring for a sick person or you are one.
We don't go out & have protests because were to ill to do that, if we did it probably be about an hour until we all felt to tierd and would have to go home . Also who's gonna listen to us? Hardly anyone have to stick together no matter what.
So to all my chronically ill friends firstly I'm so sorry this is the way we had to find eachother, your strenght & bravery inspires me daily to all the older people thank you for showing me that it will get better & to all the younger ones I hope I can show you that exact same thing & make sure that you know that your'e not alone. I'm promising you all that I'm gonna try & make this more fair for all of us,I love you all & If you ever need me I'll try my hardest to make you feel better💓
thanks to the internet I've spoken & gotten to know some amazing individuals. Many of whom have similar diffuculties to me or who go through/have been through a hell of alot more than me,all teenagers or young adults who have inspired me to want to write something in honour of how much they've inspired me.
All of these people have got similar experiences to me&all of a similar age I've spoken to a quite a few people from everything from being abandoned by friends,school, hospitals to sleeping all day,not getting out or being able to have a normal or proper life.
Your teenage years are supossed to be some of the best years of your life when you can go out&be free, if you can't you can very isolated,eveything gets questioned especially why you should be the one stuck in doors when you see everyone else doing things you could only dream of or might not ever a chance to do. People stop caring or coming to see you or showing any sign of caring at all,you feel completly forgotten which not only makes you feel like a boring person but it makes you wonder why people who you would do anything for won't do the same for you.
I've spent alot of time over the past few years doubting myself over the past as eveything I seem to do goes wrong so whenever something good does come along I spend alot of time worrying that it will or that my health will stop me from doing it. I've also spent alot of the past few years looking back to even to when I was a child & realizing that even then although I never really thought about it at the time I obviously thought it was unfair but fogot about it as I was a very happy kid & spent most of the time laughing (as I do now)
But over the past few years started to wonder why people never chose me for anything,why was I the one who didn't get picked for anything or have the opportunities like my peers did? Why was that fair? Of course it all comes down to being ill. Sick people don't get the same opportunities as everyone else,which in my opinion is wrong. I also realized that even as I kid I faced discrimimintion for this eveyone deserves the same chances no matter who they are or where they come from. What is very intresting is that I know that if I went and spent a few months with a group of kids (toddlers or young kids) they wouldn't care who I was or that I had problems they'd love me anyway so what changes when we get older? What happens to us that makes us hate ceartian people? Or discriminate against them? I'm not saying this is all people but it is most of them
Everyone should be equal you get activists for womans rights or gay rights,animal rights but there's not alot of activists for sick peoples rights,if your an activist for sick people rights they are probably someone caring for a sick person or you are one.
We don't go out & have protests because were to ill to do that, if we did it probably be about an hour until we all felt to tierd and would have to go home . Also who's gonna listen to us? Hardly anyone have to stick together no matter what.
So to all my chronically ill friends firstly I'm so sorry this is the way we had to find eachother, your strenght & bravery inspires me daily to all the older people thank you for showing me that it will get better & to all the younger ones I hope I can show you that exact same thing & make sure that you know that your'e not alone. I'm promising you all that I'm gonna try & make this more fair for all of us,I love you all & If you ever need me I'll try my hardest to make you feel better💓
Monday 25 September 2017
The Worst Witch (CBBC 2017) review
I watched this series in less than a week, it was only 13 episodes long but I'm not the greatest at binge watching anything if I'm honest.
The 1st time I watched this series I wasn't sure about some of the episodes, they seemed very spaced out with no connection to the previous episode. I think this was because it was only 1 episode a week so I probably forgot what happened the episode before, but watching it back all in one lump sum proved my 1st thoughts to be wrong as I noticed little number of plot holes or anything that stood out as being horribly wrong with any part of it
As far as I'm aware of there hasn't been a show like this on CBBC since The Sarah Jane adventures so I think it was a great idea to give it a chance & the way they did it was amazing.
All the magical elements looked so realistic, this surprised me as I wasn’t really sure what to expect , I don’t really think I put much thought into it or that it was just a kids T.V show so they probably wouldn’t give it a big enough budget to do many visual effects but I think I probably expected to little so was pleasantly surprised.
I loved how at the start of the series Mildred is a ordinary
girl who will be starting secondary school after the summer but keeps seeing
magical things that see can’t explain, not being able to understand how she has
powers, as far as she knows none of her family have ever been witches, this
makes the series more interesting as Mildred isn’t just a witch who struggles
to keep up she’s struggling to keep up as she’s never before been taught any
magic or anything about the new world. She has suddenly been flung into.
Despite this Mildred continues to work hard and doesn’t just
give up, I think this is a very important message to send out to young people
who feel like they don’t fit in or like they can’t do something just because
they struggle with it or other people put them down for not being at the top.
This also teaches children that you should believe you can achieve anything you
put your
mind to it & can get better at anything if you give it
your all and really go for it.
Throughout the series Mildred nearly gets expelled on quite
a few occasions due to not being able to keep up with her peers or for causing
trouble but she somehow manages to save the school on several occasions by
using her general knowledge or whatever found around her. I believe this is an important lesson as it teaches
that there is always something that you are good at you just need to believe in
your strengths not to think or worry too much about what you can’t do as there
is always something you can.
Mildred’s friendship with Maud and Enid also plays a vital
part of this show as we get to see the ups and downs of their friendships; with
them sticking together & helping each other when trouble arises, through
thick and thin. Mildred’s rivalry with Ethel is also a very interesting element
to this show especially as Ethel is trying so hard to stand out and all Mildred
wants is to fit in, Ethel has the chance to use this to her advantage using any
opportunity to get to Mildred and put her down.
Regardless of whatever Ethel says Mildred always rises above
it, this teaches to always raise above others
attempts to get you down or make you feel bad about yourself, although Ethel
and Mildred are worst enemies when they need to they can work together, by
doing this they manage to help save the school proving that no matter how different
you are to a person you can come together ,working together to figure out a solution to the
problem and then resolve it.
I thought all of the acting in this series was really good
especially for young girls who haven’t had a lot of experience (I know some of
them have but most haven’t , not sure about west end productions tho) of acting
on screen.
Another thing I also loved was that they stuck to Miss
Cackle’s academy being an all girls school where as nowadays they tend to add
boys into these shows but they kept mostly to the original book series (other than Enid
being black). I also loved how the main people writing and producing the show
were women I feel this is very important as I don’t think many men could write
a show based around teenage girls as they don’t know what it’s like to be a young
girl growing up as they haven’t experienced it, this is also important as it
creates less plot holes for the show as everyone working on the episodes remained
the same through the whole series.
Thank you for reading my 1st ever TV series
review,Ive done 1 film review before but this is something I really wanted to try,
it took a long time to get to a point I was happy with so I really hope you’ve
enjoyed it.
Tuesday 12 September 2017
Self care
I can't really talk about this because if I'm honest I know alot of people have atual self care routines that they follow weekly or even daily,I've struggled quite a bit over the past year or so as I've been feeling slightly better & experiencing what its like to be slightly more normal so its even more frustrating
when I have a bad day or week a few months ago I'd decided that on days like these I need to stop hating myself,being upset & try to be more positive (which I can achieve most days but becomes really hard when I'm tierd) I've found a few things that have worked for me so I thought i'd share them with you guys incase they might work for any of you guys
●Watching films or T.V shows/series with positive messages~anything from Disney or any feel good film you can think of maybe 1 you've loved as a child or 1 of your favourite films
●Nail painting,
I've seen some people use this as part of a self care routine or just doing it regularly,I don't do fancy nail art neither do I really have any idea how to my hands shake sometimes so half the time the nail varnish ends up all over the place. but its makes me feel alot better having atleast 1 part of me that looks nice even if I'm half asleep or feeling really ill.
●Shower~ I've found that showering sometimes wakes me up and is also quite good for my bones as the cold really helps,alot of people use baths which are quite relaxing (the only reason I don't is because my hurt trying to get in)
●Audiobooks~
I've spent years not being able to read and even tho I now can its still nice to be read to especially when I'm feeling to tierd to read to myself or if my head hurts to much to watch T.V
There's some of my ideas I don't know if any of them will work for you guys or if you have your own self care routines that you do but I hope some of these help some of you.
when I have a bad day or week a few months ago I'd decided that on days like these I need to stop hating myself,being upset & try to be more positive (which I can achieve most days but becomes really hard when I'm tierd) I've found a few things that have worked for me so I thought i'd share them with you guys incase they might work for any of you guys
●Watching films or T.V shows/series with positive messages~anything from Disney or any feel good film you can think of maybe 1 you've loved as a child or 1 of your favourite films
●Nail painting,
I've seen some people use this as part of a self care routine or just doing it regularly,I don't do fancy nail art neither do I really have any idea how to my hands shake sometimes so half the time the nail varnish ends up all over the place. but its makes me feel alot better having atleast 1 part of me that looks nice even if I'm half asleep or feeling really ill.
●Shower~ I've found that showering sometimes wakes me up and is also quite good for my bones as the cold really helps,alot of people use baths which are quite relaxing (the only reason I don't is because my hurt trying to get in)
●Audiobooks~
I've spent years not being able to read and even tho I now can its still nice to be read to especially when I'm feeling to tierd to read to myself or if my head hurts to much to watch T.V
There's some of my ideas I don't know if any of them will work for you guys or if you have your own self care routines that you do but I hope some of these help some of you.
Thursday 7 September 2017
My plans to review childrens films & television & what I think about it.
I enjoyed writing my Royally undercover review so much I thought i'd try & do some more,I'm planning to review childrens films or television series maybe even books rather than actual products, I spend & have spent alot of time over the past few years watching T.V as I just haven't been able to do anything else,having a younger sister I've also sat through countless hours of young children's T.V shows,I'd be lying if I told you I'd not enjoyed some of that time.
A child's mind is alot less judgmental than a adults making their shows/films made to be more light hearted,when your suffering anything its good to have something to laugh at or make you realize or remember the simplest of things.
Personally out of choice I also chose to watch a few CBBC children's television series some that I've been watching since I was a kid & just haven't stopped & some that have just caught my eye.
I've also noticed that since we got rid of sky a few years ago that British children's television (mostly CBBC cuz that's what im watching) compared to the stuff I used to watch on Nickelodeon when I was younger seems to have alot more meaning also our every show isn't set in a secondary school there's the odd 1 or 2 but its not most of what's on the network,we seem to be more a variety of shows with deeper meanings attached.
As for films I struggle to watch anything past a PG I seem to be really easily stressed now, tiredness takes over alot of the time so I get more emotional than I used to, I also have to cram my head with good & positive messages as this is the only thing that seems to keep my brain from over thinking,childrens films&T.V have really helped me with that,being able to become a child again has given me alot more strength than I could ever start to explain
That being said I also don't believe that the people making these series or films are catering just for children I believe that if they do their jobs properly they are catering for the childlike mind/imagination,you need to be able to add in jokes that a child wont understand but can be laughed at by adults or teenagers or put in things that the whole family will find funny or relatable to be able to make it enjoyable for all ages.
In these reviews I will try to find & cover all those points & anything else I find that I think is worth a mention good or bad,this was going to be the start of a review but I rambled & it kind of turned into something to long to put at the beginning of anything turning it into a childrens film & television ramble I
hope you enjoyed it anyways,my 1st review will probably be the entire Tracy Beaker series & spin offs as I've just currently been watching them and I'm coming to the end of all the series
so hopefully that will be up soon.
A child's mind is alot less judgmental than a adults making their shows/films made to be more light hearted,when your suffering anything its good to have something to laugh at or make you realize or remember the simplest of things.
Personally out of choice I also chose to watch a few CBBC children's television series some that I've been watching since I was a kid & just haven't stopped & some that have just caught my eye.
I've also noticed that since we got rid of sky a few years ago that British children's television (mostly CBBC cuz that's what im watching) compared to the stuff I used to watch on Nickelodeon when I was younger seems to have alot more meaning also our every show isn't set in a secondary school there's the odd 1 or 2 but its not most of what's on the network,we seem to be more a variety of shows with deeper meanings attached.
As for films I struggle to watch anything past a PG I seem to be really easily stressed now, tiredness takes over alot of the time so I get more emotional than I used to, I also have to cram my head with good & positive messages as this is the only thing that seems to keep my brain from over thinking,childrens films&T.V have really helped me with that,being able to become a child again has given me alot more strength than I could ever start to explain
That being said I also don't believe that the people making these series or films are catering just for children I believe that if they do their jobs properly they are catering for the childlike mind/imagination,you need to be able to add in jokes that a child wont understand but can be laughed at by adults or teenagers or put in things that the whole family will find funny or relatable to be able to make it enjoyable for all ages.
In these reviews I will try to find & cover all those points & anything else I find that I think is worth a mention good or bad,this was going to be the start of a review but I rambled & it kind of turned into something to long to put at the beginning of anything turning it into a childrens film & television ramble I
hope you enjoyed it anyways,my 1st review will probably be the entire Tracy Beaker series & spin offs as I've just currently been watching them and I'm coming to the end of all the series
so hopefully that will be up soon.
Thursday 24 August 2017
Grades don't define you
Days like this always seem to hard for me you know results days&proms ans whatever watching people be normal & be normal teenagers,for me its the thought that she school didn't believe that I could achieve anything despite being ill & the fact that everyone deserves to have the same chances no matter who they are I know I wrote a bog blog post on all this the other day
but It makes me really angry which is why I'm more determined than ever to start up my own school for sick kids, also I've realized over the past few years there's more important than being graded. I believe all this has made me a better person this is gonna sound creepy but I've had the chance to watch people
when your out & can't walk around you notice more you notice children playing the noises around you & hear peoples conversations about their days,kids,friends or lives & sometimes you hear there funny storys & for a few seconds you feel like you know them. I've also had the chance to find out about other peoples ways of life people who have it worse off then me & people who are struggling just as much as I am.
It's given my life more than a meaning,one of my favourite Harry Potter quotes is "There's more important things than being clever like friendship and Bravery" I can't remember what Harry Potter it's from only that Hermione says it to Ron at some point. I believe this to be true because you can be smart,have a posh house well paid job but be a horrible person who has no friends or family around as long as you're a good person ot dosnet matter what you end up doing because you'll always have alot of friends& family around you supporting you through wherever life takes you.
Over the past few years I've been in alpt of & fandoms and I've been a very loyal person in these fandoms,I've learnt alot from that & found joy in simple things like editing &I think I've become alot better at it over the years especially from when I started,grades don't define who you are and it doesn't matter what age you do stuff or in what order another
1 of my favourite quotes is "you're never to old to dream a new dream". This is also true people do things at all ages so just because eveyone else is doing something you shouldn't feel bad about the fact you're not it dosnet mean you cant or won't do it it just means It's gonna take a little longer which will make it even sweeter when you achieve it.
Also as it took longer you have every right to celebrate even harder than eveyone else. I've learnt that just because some people never gave me a chance or believed in me it doesn't mean I shouldn't believe in me &
alot of people do believe in me, no matter what anyone tells you
grades don't define you or who you are.
but It makes me really angry which is why I'm more determined than ever to start up my own school for sick kids, also I've realized over the past few years there's more important than being graded. I believe all this has made me a better person this is gonna sound creepy but I've had the chance to watch people
when your out & can't walk around you notice more you notice children playing the noises around you & hear peoples conversations about their days,kids,friends or lives & sometimes you hear there funny storys & for a few seconds you feel like you know them. I've also had the chance to find out about other peoples ways of life people who have it worse off then me & people who are struggling just as much as I am.
It's given my life more than a meaning,one of my favourite Harry Potter quotes is "There's more important things than being clever like friendship and Bravery" I can't remember what Harry Potter it's from only that Hermione says it to Ron at some point. I believe this to be true because you can be smart,have a posh house well paid job but be a horrible person who has no friends or family around as long as you're a good person ot dosnet matter what you end up doing because you'll always have alot of friends& family around you supporting you through wherever life takes you.
Over the past few years I've been in alpt of & fandoms and I've been a very loyal person in these fandoms,I've learnt alot from that & found joy in simple things like editing &I think I've become alot better at it over the years especially from when I started,grades don't define who you are and it doesn't matter what age you do stuff or in what order another
1 of my favourite quotes is "you're never to old to dream a new dream". This is also true people do things at all ages so just because eveyone else is doing something you shouldn't feel bad about the fact you're not it dosnet mean you cant or won't do it it just means It's gonna take a little longer which will make it even sweeter when you achieve it.
Also as it took longer you have every right to celebrate even harder than eveyone else. I've learnt that just because some people never gave me a chance or believed in me it doesn't mean I shouldn't believe in me &
alot of people do believe in me, no matter what anyone tells you
grades don't define you or who you are.
Monday 21 August 2017
My school life & what I plan to change about for sick people
I was watching lose women earlier cuz Pop put it on to watch the chaser and his wife & they had a story on about 2 mums who were rasing money for a disabled school and 1 of the things 1 of them said was that at a normal school her & ger family were constantly being told what he would never be able to do but at this disabled school they tailored what they taught to the needs and had each goal as a small one that they could manage. I know its a completely different story but what she said
reminded me of my school life especially towards the end teachers would put me in rooms alone & make me do tests that I clearly couldn't do,then when they couldn't handle me because they couldn't be bothered to try and help they just kicked me out. I've got alot of self confidence issues along with the fear that people don't want me around anymore which I'm pretty sure are both mostly related to school and
how they treated me,it would have been easy for them to come up with some sort of programme that gave me all I needed and taught me eveything I needed to know in a way where I could cope. I'm forever seeing adverts or appeals to help African kids get an education and one of the things they always say is that eveyone deserves an education and that's completely right so why is it right for them to treat me like that? It's not,
I feel really strongly that no matter who you are you deserve to be taught in a way that's tailored for you just like I do with myself now I can finally learn again you shouldn't take the power of an education away from anyone I might not be the smartest person but I still have passions& I still want to do well at whatever I end up doing & now I can read & write again no-one can stop me.
This year I learnt that I'm not alone in my battle with school
I speak to alot of chronically ill people who have or have had problems with schools faling to understand what its like to be sick but want to learn no matter how much yoy try ti tell these people they just don't get it,I sat in a room full of kids this year about 200
All like me & I can't understand that just because someones diffrent or has different needs why should that stop them from having all the opportunities a normal kid does? I never got picked for anything at school, developed a passion for acting in year 6 (even tho I was incredibly shy) no-one gave me the opportunity to come out of my shell at the end of school play someone got ill & they had to pick another person to play her part I knew I knew all the lines this person had and as I only had 2 lines so I was excited becuase for some reason I thought i'd get picked yet because I was a sickly kid I wasn't.
I'm gonna wrap this up now cuz it's a way to long & I'm not sure it makes sense but my point is no-one should be able to treat you like you don't matter no-one should be able to take your education,passions or love for life away from you no-one should be able to tell you what you can and can't do I don't want anyone in the future having to sit down and write something like this I want people to know that others are going through or have been through the same.
Whatever I wanted before I don't want do much anymore but I want to set up a school for chronically ill kids (or anyone who's ill with whatever it might be) the school system sucks so we won't stick to it & you only have to work an hour a day or whatever you can do Friday there's no school or school trips&Thursday is therapy/self care day because lifes hard & you need a break but you also need company (this includes art therapy,and any other therapy that might be needed and just doing whatever you want for however long you want to stay for) I also plan ro have a sleep/rest room incase eveything gets to much oh and lots if cake because cake makes eveything better
reminded me of my school life especially towards the end teachers would put me in rooms alone & make me do tests that I clearly couldn't do,then when they couldn't handle me because they couldn't be bothered to try and help they just kicked me out. I've got alot of self confidence issues along with the fear that people don't want me around anymore which I'm pretty sure are both mostly related to school and
how they treated me,it would have been easy for them to come up with some sort of programme that gave me all I needed and taught me eveything I needed to know in a way where I could cope. I'm forever seeing adverts or appeals to help African kids get an education and one of the things they always say is that eveyone deserves an education and that's completely right so why is it right for them to treat me like that? It's not,
I feel really strongly that no matter who you are you deserve to be taught in a way that's tailored for you just like I do with myself now I can finally learn again you shouldn't take the power of an education away from anyone I might not be the smartest person but I still have passions& I still want to do well at whatever I end up doing & now I can read & write again no-one can stop me.
This year I learnt that I'm not alone in my battle with school
I speak to alot of chronically ill people who have or have had problems with schools faling to understand what its like to be sick but want to learn no matter how much yoy try ti tell these people they just don't get it,I sat in a room full of kids this year about 200
All like me & I can't understand that just because someones diffrent or has different needs why should that stop them from having all the opportunities a normal kid does? I never got picked for anything at school, developed a passion for acting in year 6 (even tho I was incredibly shy) no-one gave me the opportunity to come out of my shell at the end of school play someone got ill & they had to pick another person to play her part I knew I knew all the lines this person had and as I only had 2 lines so I was excited becuase for some reason I thought i'd get picked yet because I was a sickly kid I wasn't.
I'm gonna wrap this up now cuz it's a way to long & I'm not sure it makes sense but my point is no-one should be able to treat you like you don't matter no-one should be able to take your education,passions or love for life away from you no-one should be able to tell you what you can and can't do I don't want anyone in the future having to sit down and write something like this I want people to know that others are going through or have been through the same.
Whatever I wanted before I don't want do much anymore but I want to set up a school for chronically ill kids (or anyone who's ill with whatever it might be) the school system sucks so we won't stick to it & you only have to work an hour a day or whatever you can do Friday there's no school or school trips&Thursday is therapy/self care day because lifes hard & you need a break but you also need company (this includes art therapy,and any other therapy that might be needed and just doing whatever you want for however long you want to stay for) I also plan ro have a sleep/rest room incase eveything gets to much oh and lots if cake because cake makes eveything better
Friday 21 July 2017
My swan princess live action cast for the Espionage cosmetics Swan Princess grand giveaway
Swan Princess live Link:https://gleam.io/aek4j/the-swan-princess-grand-giveaway
Young Odette:Mckenna Grace
Reason:As I was trying to think of people to put down for all the charcters Mckenna came to mind fora young Odette,she's such an amazing actress&seems to get better in every single thing she gets cast in&she has the right hair so that's a bonus.
Young Derek:Neel Sethi (Mowgli)
Reason: I thought was I did a young Odette I should probably do a young Derek I thought about this for quite a while,all the young male actors I could think of have long grown up&are young adults or teenagers now. Then I remembered how amazing I thought Neel was in the jungle book,as I couldn't think of anyone else he seemed to fit.
Odette: Lily James/Jennifer Morrison
Reason:Lily already has expirence at playing a princess (Cinderella) & she played this role really well. I also choose Jennifer Morrison as I just think she's amazing actress & also has some experience at playing a princess.
Derek:Sebastian Stan
Reason: I found trying to pick a Derek really hard but my once upon a time obsession led me row Sebastian who played the mad hatter in the show there was a sense of mystery to the way he played the mad hatter and I think in tbr early films Derek is kind of mysterious as he always seems to be hiding something or planning something to defeat someone.
Rogers: Jim Carrey
Reason:Simple,Jim's hilarious and I think he'd make a brilliant Rogers
Jean~bob: Eddie murphy (Donkey shrek) Reason: Eddie made a really funny & believable Donkey in all 4 Shrek films&its a voice people will connect with comedy. I Also think Donkey is slightly similar to Jean~Bob so this could work quite well.
Puffin:Jack Black
Reason:I just love Jack Black&again its a voice people will be able to recognize
Speed:Mike Myers
reason:I think he made a really funny Shrek & would be be able to use that in this. again its a voice people will know
Rothbart: Robert Carlyle
Reason:Robert was the 1st and only person who came to mind when it came to thinking about who I should put down for RothBart he plays such a believable Rumplestilskin in ABC's once upon a time and would make the perfect RothBart
Chamberlain: Timothy Spall (Nathaniel enchanted)
Reason:Loved Timothy in Enchanted and I think he'd make a really convincing Chamberlain
Bromley:James Cordon
Reason: I love James Cordon he's really funny and a great comedy actor as well as presenter.
Uberta:Helen Bonham Carter
Reason:She plays the queen of hearts in such a way that reminds me of Uberta,I'm not exactly sure why but I think she's the right choice.
Young Odette:Mckenna Grace
Reason:As I was trying to think of people to put down for all the charcters Mckenna came to mind fora young Odette,she's such an amazing actress&seems to get better in every single thing she gets cast in&she has the right hair so that's a bonus.
Young Derek:Neel Sethi (Mowgli)
Reason: I thought was I did a young Odette I should probably do a young Derek I thought about this for quite a while,all the young male actors I could think of have long grown up&are young adults or teenagers now. Then I remembered how amazing I thought Neel was in the jungle book,as I couldn't think of anyone else he seemed to fit.
Odette: Lily James/Jennifer Morrison
Reason:Lily already has expirence at playing a princess (Cinderella) & she played this role really well. I also choose Jennifer Morrison as I just think she's amazing actress & also has some experience at playing a princess.
Derek:Sebastian Stan
Reason: I found trying to pick a Derek really hard but my once upon a time obsession led me row Sebastian who played the mad hatter in the show there was a sense of mystery to the way he played the mad hatter and I think in tbr early films Derek is kind of mysterious as he always seems to be hiding something or planning something to defeat someone.
Rogers: Jim Carrey
Reason:Simple,Jim's hilarious and I think he'd make a brilliant Rogers
Jean~bob: Eddie murphy (Donkey shrek) Reason: Eddie made a really funny & believable Donkey in all 4 Shrek films&its a voice people will connect with comedy. I Also think Donkey is slightly similar to Jean~Bob so this could work quite well.
Puffin:Jack Black
Reason:I just love Jack Black&again its a voice people will be able to recognize
Speed:Mike Myers
reason:I think he made a really funny Shrek & would be be able to use that in this. again its a voice people will know
Rothbart: Robert Carlyle
Reason:Robert was the 1st and only person who came to mind when it came to thinking about who I should put down for RothBart he plays such a believable Rumplestilskin in ABC's once upon a time and would make the perfect RothBart
Chamberlain: Timothy Spall (Nathaniel enchanted)
Reason:Loved Timothy in Enchanted and I think he'd make a really convincing Chamberlain
Bromley:James Cordon
Reason: I love James Cordon he's really funny and a great comedy actor as well as presenter.
Uberta:Helen Bonham Carter
Reason:She plays the queen of hearts in such a way that reminds me of Uberta,I'm not exactly sure why but I think she's the right choice.
Sunday 9 July 2017
Love,ilness & what I've learnt
The past few month's have been really weird I've questioned everything and the one thing I believed in got taken away from me.
I suddenly had the realizaztion that as much I wanted it no-one was coming to "save me" & that no-one wants to wait around for a sick person because why would you? I would I'd wait forever if I had to but I see the world alot differently to most people & most people don't understand me at all.
All the work I did to try&get better seemed pointless because what was the point in anything if I couldn't guarantee anything then all the thoughts about no-one ever loving me or wanting me around because I'm ill&tbh this is probably mostly true but I realized that you can't use someone else your motivation to want to get better.
Fairy tales don't exist as much as I'd been telling myself they did because it made me feel better pretending that things are that simple. Hans from the Southern Isles or the man at the start of Enchanted before he stops being grumpy are probably the most realistic Disney men. (No offence)
I stopped believing in anything,especially love,I started telling myslef that maybe I should just dedicate my life to working&atleast get a decent job but then realized that that wasn't gonna make me happy in the slightest and neither was buying a ton of pets and living alone.
Like I said whos gonna love a sick person?
I'll tell you who anyone who's stuck around long enough & loved you regardless of what you've been through stucking with you through every bad day&sleepless night. They will and they always will regardless of what happens. So will other ill people they will appreciate how hard you work & everything you've been through,you'll be able to go through things together and although it might be harder you'll alot happier.
might get rejected alot & not just by people but by places,but I've realised lately that that's just because I'm associating myslef with the wrong people or places.
you're not unlovable just because your sick.You're definitely not a burden &you shouldn't feel like you are.
I might chronically ill but I'm so much more than just a sick person I have ambitions,plans,places I wanna go&people I wanna see/meet.
I don't need anyone right now apart from my family & the very few friends who have stuck around who I appreciate & love more than anything I've got a long way to go but I know I can do it if that means doing it mostly alone that's what I'll do because lifes not that simple,I've gotta do this mostly alone obviously with the help of people around me but most of it has to be me I know I can do it.
Its a slow process but I know it's possible& other than being happy nothing else matters & I am happy,I wont end up lonely because I have do many incredible people surrounding me who I know will never leave me&who I know will always love me so everythings gonna be okay.
I suddenly had the realizaztion that as much I wanted it no-one was coming to "save me" & that no-one wants to wait around for a sick person because why would you? I would I'd wait forever if I had to but I see the world alot differently to most people & most people don't understand me at all.
All the work I did to try&get better seemed pointless because what was the point in anything if I couldn't guarantee anything then all the thoughts about no-one ever loving me or wanting me around because I'm ill&tbh this is probably mostly true but I realized that you can't use someone else your motivation to want to get better.
Fairy tales don't exist as much as I'd been telling myself they did because it made me feel better pretending that things are that simple. Hans from the Southern Isles or the man at the start of Enchanted before he stops being grumpy are probably the most realistic Disney men. (No offence)
I stopped believing in anything,especially love,I started telling myslef that maybe I should just dedicate my life to working&atleast get a decent job but then realized that that wasn't gonna make me happy in the slightest and neither was buying a ton of pets and living alone.
Like I said whos gonna love a sick person?
I'll tell you who anyone who's stuck around long enough & loved you regardless of what you've been through stucking with you through every bad day&sleepless night. They will and they always will regardless of what happens. So will other ill people they will appreciate how hard you work & everything you've been through,you'll be able to go through things together and although it might be harder you'll alot happier.
might get rejected alot & not just by people but by places,but I've realised lately that that's just because I'm associating myslef with the wrong people or places.
you're not unlovable just because your sick.You're definitely not a burden &you shouldn't feel like you are.
I might chronically ill but I'm so much more than just a sick person I have ambitions,plans,places I wanna go&people I wanna see/meet.
I don't need anyone right now apart from my family & the very few friends who have stuck around who I appreciate & love more than anything I've got a long way to go but I know I can do it if that means doing it mostly alone that's what I'll do because lifes not that simple,I've gotta do this mostly alone obviously with the help of people around me but most of it has to be me I know I can do it.
Its a slow process but I know it's possible& other than being happy nothing else matters & I am happy,I wont end up lonely because I have do many incredible people surrounding me who I know will never leave me&who I know will always love me so everythings gonna be okay.
Thursday 22 June 2017
Royally undercover film review
Welcome to my first ever film review or review of anything,because of the chronic fatigue I still struggle to write so this could all go wrong&make no sense at all but I'm hoping it'll work even if it means It's super short.
My 3 favourite things about this film were the
*humour,
*everyone coming together
*&the world/story being shown through the eyes of a child.
My reasons for my choices would be
1)This ones simple,eveyone needs a laugh once in a while,laughter is the best medicine & I laughed through this entire film.
2) It's important to feel like you have a sense of belonging especially for a child,I think seeing people come together gives you that. Seeing the good people or the goodness of people is also really important to show children (or anyone who needs reminding) so they see that not eveyones a bad person especially with eveything that's gone on in the world lately. It's also important to start teaching kindness at a young age & showing people come together teaches kids to come together,talk to each other,hopefully play nicely and fight.
3) I think showing a story of a series of storys through the eyes of a child or having children as the main charcters gives the story a completely different view to the one that would be seen if it was or was mostly shown through the eyes of an adult. Children have very diffrent views to adults,their still learning about the world & won't understand as much an adult so in a way it makes it more innocent. The part after Alise discovers Antonio dosent really love Uberta is a prime example of this because she's so innocent & honestly has no clue why he's treating her the way he is when he doesn't mean it in the slightest (until she works out his plan)
Family&friendship was also a gigantic part of this film.
Towards the end of the film the adults start to get more involved in what's actually been going on and you start to see thier emotions & how upset they become when they think someone they love is in danger, so many films seem to focus on just the love of one main couple rather than the love of family&friends.
Love of friendship is shown from the entire film &the 2nd adventure Lucas&Elise share at the start they have times where they are competing to be tbe better spy but towards the end they begin working more as a team&complimenting eachother rather than laughing at the others mistakes.
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this film&would recommend it to anyone,reading this back I seem to have mostly have focused on children&the feelings of a child but I think any adult could sit down,watch this with or without a child & be able to take something away from it.
Friday 12 May 2017
SHHHH
I have sensory problems with loud noises& lights its alot better than it was but I still struggle if people get to loud or if there's to many noises going on,its the same with bright flashing lights or to much light but this isn't as much of an issue as I can just shut my eyes,
although people in the past after me having told them mu problem have given my tips for my ears and for noise I still struggle a great deal.
You think its getting better but then you realize its not,right now I'm worried that it's always gonna be the same,its not just the noise
its also the stress that comes with it,I get scared & even with music or ear plugs if YOU or your MUSIC ect ...
are over a certain volume I CAN STILL HEAR YOU. I'm writing this right now
because I don't think some people realize how much it effects me so pleasse when being around me pleasse keep this in mind,or even just whilst your out have it in mind that some people have difficulty with even the simplilist things. Pleasse be aware that I don't wanna ruin your fun&I get that its hard to keep your kids under a certain volume but there's ways you can and ways you should.
although people in the past after me having told them mu problem have given my tips for my ears and for noise I still struggle a great deal.
You think its getting better but then you realize its not,right now I'm worried that it's always gonna be the same,its not just the noise
its also the stress that comes with it,I get scared & even with music or ear plugs if YOU or your MUSIC ect ...
are over a certain volume I CAN STILL HEAR YOU. I'm writing this right now
because I don't think some people realize how much it effects me so pleasse when being around me pleasse keep this in mind,or even just whilst your out have it in mind that some people have difficulty with even the simplilist things. Pleasse be aware that I don't wanna ruin your fun&I get that its hard to keep your kids under a certain volume but there's ways you can and ways you should.
Tuesday 28 March 2017
Sickness,school&work
Whenever the whole university or job conversation comes up it totally skips me&moves onto my younger sister once again I'm left feeling no~one cares about my future cuz no-one ever seems to want to discuss it with me. In my mind I'm thinking that they don't seem to think I have a future past all this,I went on later that day to discuss my thoughts with one of my best friends who told me that I can't judge myself on them or anyone else who I feel is doing better than me because there not me,she also said that even tho I'd obviously perfer not to be sick I can use this to inspire people and also that because of all this I'll probably end up proving everyone wrong. I went away and thought about this quite deeply I also came to the conclusion that due to all this
I've also got alot of sympathy in ways that I know they won't ever have or be able to relate to,not saying there not decent people cuz they are but they have come out with things in the past that I find quite offensive,I probably got mad at the time but its down to lack of understanding. I've also been able to experience other people's ways of life that are alot worse than mine,and got to be around some of the nicest people yet the ones who are struggling the most. This has given me a totally different way of thinking,one that I know I wouldn't want to be taken away from me if I had the chance, I've been truly inspired and touched by these people,their stories&their positivity again something that they won't ever have.
As for school and jobs I'll get there,I'm excited about getting back into learning,it fills me with alot of joy. I've decided that I won't settle until I get somewhere I'm not only happy with but somewhere I know I want to stay for the rest of my life it has to something I'm excited about doing,I want to go to bed everynight having enjoyed my day I don't wanna be one of those adults who comes home moaning because they hate thier job I wanna come home or be at home being excited about what I've been doing/am doing. I also know that I'll get bored with only one project on the go so I plan to have a few on the go at once,maybe a part time job&the art stuff.
I've considered maybe volunteering somewhere or even having more than one business (as long as I know there both gonna work&trying might be fun anyway) I might be sick&I'll never be your average person but I deserve my rights like eveyone else.
I'm gonna have to push and somehow make my own way but I'm sure I can do it it'll just be a very slow process but even if I'm at retirement age& I get somewhere atleast I'll have made it. Right now all that matters is that I do everything I can to get better&be the best person I know I can be.
I've also got alot of sympathy in ways that I know they won't ever have or be able to relate to,not saying there not decent people cuz they are but they have come out with things in the past that I find quite offensive,I probably got mad at the time but its down to lack of understanding. I've also been able to experience other people's ways of life that are alot worse than mine,and got to be around some of the nicest people yet the ones who are struggling the most. This has given me a totally different way of thinking,one that I know I wouldn't want to be taken away from me if I had the chance, I've been truly inspired and touched by these people,their stories&their positivity again something that they won't ever have.
As for school and jobs I'll get there,I'm excited about getting back into learning,it fills me with alot of joy. I've decided that I won't settle until I get somewhere I'm not only happy with but somewhere I know I want to stay for the rest of my life it has to something I'm excited about doing,I want to go to bed everynight having enjoyed my day I don't wanna be one of those adults who comes home moaning because they hate thier job I wanna come home or be at home being excited about what I've been doing/am doing. I also know that I'll get bored with only one project on the go so I plan to have a few on the go at once,maybe a part time job&the art stuff.
I've considered maybe volunteering somewhere or even having more than one business (as long as I know there both gonna work&trying might be fun anyway) I might be sick&I'll never be your average person but I deserve my rights like eveyone else.
I'm gonna have to push and somehow make my own way but I'm sure I can do it it'll just be a very slow process but even if I'm at retirement age& I get somewhere atleast I'll have made it. Right now all that matters is that I do everything I can to get better&be the best person I know I can be.
Friday 13 January 2017
To everyone whos ever belived in me and the ones who haven't
To everyone who's never belived in me you suck,its taken me a long time to realize this and alot of people never give me a chance because I'm ill alot of the time and have been my whole life I never thought about it when I was younger not deeply I just thought it was unfair and odd that I never got the chances others seemed to get. Looking back its goes alot deeper than that ,I went to ballet when I was around 7 I
had no balance and was ill most of the time even when I was off we had to pay for the lessons, the ballet teacher was always mean to me wherever I actually was well enough to make an appearance, using me an example of what no to do.
During my time at school I never got picked for anything which I always thought was super weird but its down to being half there in the year6 play I got the worst possible part and I was actually quite well that year
all I wanted was to feel like eveyone else,fit in and feel like someone belived in me that was weird time for me as I had just started to believe in something and they were
taking it away from me before I had even started. year 7~8 I grew alot I started to believe in myself and started to think I could achieve anything again I got shredded into a million pices and my hearts been battered for years I started to sleep alot more,all day every day most days
I'm not much better now year, I don't think I will ever go back to that person who seemed to belive in the impossible regardless of whatever was going on I believe in certain things but not like I used to and most of my belief is not based around my friends or idols amd not myslef,my goals
or what I want. Writing this right now I realise noone of this is fair and to all adults or I'd like to say if a child wants something give it to them pleasse believe in them don't just cadt them out because I've seen it from both sides and I know I've defiantly grown from the people who have talked to me for hours about stuff and allowed/helped
me to grow .to all people who have or do believe in me ilysm. I know there are some of you, you know who you are thanks for lifting me up and making me think that maybe I'm not as useless as I think eveyone else thinks I am. to all of you who have treated me like I cant do anything you suck and I'm better than that I've spent to long
believing your right but your not I am and I will do something that will prove that to you, I dont know how but I'm determined not to just be that sick kid that grew up to not achieve anything just because you don't think I can.
had no balance and was ill most of the time even when I was off we had to pay for the lessons, the ballet teacher was always mean to me wherever I actually was well enough to make an appearance, using me an example of what no to do.
During my time at school I never got picked for anything which I always thought was super weird but its down to being half there in the year6 play I got the worst possible part and I was actually quite well that year
all I wanted was to feel like eveyone else,fit in and feel like someone belived in me that was weird time for me as I had just started to believe in something and they were
taking it away from me before I had even started. year 7~8 I grew alot I started to believe in myself and started to think I could achieve anything again I got shredded into a million pices and my hearts been battered for years I started to sleep alot more,all day every day most days
I'm not much better now year, I don't think I will ever go back to that person who seemed to belive in the impossible regardless of whatever was going on I believe in certain things but not like I used to and most of my belief is not based around my friends or idols amd not myslef,my goals
or what I want. Writing this right now I realise noone of this is fair and to all adults or I'd like to say if a child wants something give it to them pleasse believe in them don't just cadt them out because I've seen it from both sides and I know I've defiantly grown from the people who have talked to me for hours about stuff and allowed/helped
me to grow .to all people who have or do believe in me ilysm. I know there are some of you, you know who you are thanks for lifting me up and making me think that maybe I'm not as useless as I think eveyone else thinks I am. to all of you who have treated me like I cant do anything you suck and I'm better than that I've spent to long
believing your right but your not I am and I will do something that will prove that to you, I dont know how but I'm determined not to just be that sick kid that grew up to not achieve anything just because you don't think I can.
Monday 2 January 2017
New years resolutions for a chronically ill person
Welcome to my first blog,this is something I've been wanting to do for a while so I hope you like it, its taken me about a week to write this as I still struggle to write but I hope these new years resolutions are helpful.
1:Try to have more fun,it sounds simple but I know hard it is to want to go out or meet up with anyone the truth is you don't have to you can have fun indoors and with the most simple things.
2:Find ways to do things in a more simple way that won't make you as exhausted
3:Do what you love,I've lost most of what I loved before and I've hated myslef about it for years only recently have I realized that you can keep doing what you love in different ways to the ones you did before.
4:Watch things you wouldn't normally watch,I'm not saying go and watch a horror film if you know it'll keep you up for weeks but maybe try and watch films you've never seen,or try and find old t.v series from years ago. Even ones made before you were born you might find you like them,you won't know unless you watch
5:Try to find recovery stories or positive blogs/websites and read/watch through them
6:Get inspired by people around youif its celebritys or just random people you know. It sounds weird but I like to pick out people and list reasons in my head of why I think there inspiring and ways I can be more like them. It makes you think that if they can go though something and gwt through it so can you.
7: Try to Laugh more,again it seems simple but it can be really hard some days.
8: Try to do a good deed everyday no matter how big or small it
9:Try to look for the good in every situation no matter how hard it is
10:and finally don't let people tell you what you can and can't do and if you really want to do something that's gonna take it out of you save energy up for it don't let yourself get to restricted.
There's probably not meany people reading this but if you are I hope its helped and happy new year.
1:Try to have more fun,it sounds simple but I know hard it is to want to go out or meet up with anyone the truth is you don't have to you can have fun indoors and with the most simple things.
2:Find ways to do things in a more simple way that won't make you as exhausted
3:Do what you love,I've lost most of what I loved before and I've hated myslef about it for years only recently have I realized that you can keep doing what you love in different ways to the ones you did before.
4:Watch things you wouldn't normally watch,I'm not saying go and watch a horror film if you know it'll keep you up for weeks but maybe try and watch films you've never seen,or try and find old t.v series from years ago. Even ones made before you were born you might find you like them,you won't know unless you watch
5:Try to find recovery stories or positive blogs/websites and read/watch through them
6:Get inspired by people around youif its celebritys or just random people you know. It sounds weird but I like to pick out people and list reasons in my head of why I think there inspiring and ways I can be more like them. It makes you think that if they can go though something and gwt through it so can you.
7: Try to Laugh more,again it seems simple but it can be really hard some days.
8: Try to do a good deed everyday no matter how big or small it
9:Try to look for the good in every situation no matter how hard it is
10:and finally don't let people tell you what you can and can't do and if you really want to do something that's gonna take it out of you save energy up for it don't let yourself get to restricted.
There's probably not meany people reading this but if you are I hope its helped and happy new year.
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