To everyone whos ever belived in me and the ones who haven't

To everyone who's never belived in me you suck,its taken me a long time to realize this and alot of people never give me a chance because I'm ill alot of the time and have been my whole life I never thought about it when I was younger not deeply I just thought it was unfair and odd that I never got the chances others seemed to get. Looking back its goes alot deeper than that ,I went to ballet when I was around 7 I

 had no balance and was ill most of the time even when I was off we had to pay for the lessons, the ballet teacher was always mean to me wherever I actually was well enough to make an appearance, using me an example of what no to do.

During my time at  school I never got picked for anything which I always thought was super weird but its down to being half there in the year6 play I got the worst possible part and I was actually quite well that year

all I wanted was to feel like eveyone else,fit in  and feel like someone belived in me that was weird time for me as I had just started to believe  in something and they were

taking it away from me before I had even started. year 7~8 I grew alot I started to believe  in myself and started to think I could achieve anything again I got shredded into a million pices and my hearts been battered for years I started to sleep alot more,all day every day most days

I'm not much better now year, I don't think I will ever go back to that person who seemed to belive in the impossible regardless of whatever was going on I believe in certain things but not like I used to and most of my belief is not based around my friends or idols amd not myslef,my goals

 or what I want. Writing this right now I realise  noone of this is  fair and  to all adults or I'd like to say if a child wants something give it to them pleasse believe in them don't just cadt them out because I've seen it from both sides and I know I've defiantly grown from the people who have talked to me for hours about stuff and allowed/helped

me to grow .to all people who have or do believe  in me ilysm. I know there are some of you, you know who you are thanks for lifting me up and making me think that maybe I'm not as useless as I think eveyone else thinks I am. to all of you who have treated me like I cant do anything you suck and I'm better than that I've spent to long

believing your right but your not I am and I will do something that will prove that to you, I dont know how but I'm determined not to just be that sick kid that grew up to not achieve anything just because you don't think I can.

New years resolutions for a chronically ill person

Welcome to my first blog,this is something I've been wanting to do for a while so I hope you like it, its taken me about a week to write this as I still struggle to write but I hope these new years resolutions are helpful.

1:Try to have more fun,it sounds simple but I know hard it is to want to go out or meet up with anyone the truth is you don't have to you can have fun indoors and with the most simple things.

2:Find ways to do things in a more simple way that won't make you as exhausted

3:Do what you love,I've lost most of what I loved before and I've hated myslef about it for years only recently have I realized that you can keep doing what you love in different ways to the ones you did before.

4:Watch things you wouldn't normally watch,I'm not saying go and watch a horror film if you know it'll keep you up for weeks but maybe try and watch films you've never seen,or try and find old t.v series from years ago. Even ones made before you were born you might find you like them,you won't  know unless you watch

5:Try to find recovery stories or positive blogs/websites and read/watch through them

6:Get inspired by people around youif its celebritys or just random people you know. It sounds weird but I like to pick out people and list reasons in my head of why I think there inspiring and ways I can be more like them. It makes you think that if they can go though something and gwt through it so can you.

7: Try to Laugh more,again it seems simple but it can be really hard some days.

8: Try to do a good deed everyday no matter how big or small it

9:Try to look for the good in every situation no matter how hard it is

10:and finally don't let people tell you what you can and can't do and if you really want to do something that's gonna take it out of you save energy up for it don't let yourself get to restricted.

There's probably not meany people reading this but if you are I hope its helped and happy new year.