How I feel about beating the avreage age to get ME by 6 years

Quote from a article I read about ME the other day said   "What cannot be agreed, however, is what type of treatment is appropriate for this debilitating illness, which usually develops when people are in their early 20s to mid-40s."  I'm six years under the normal age range to get ME Firstly nothing they use to treat ME really works it only partly works then you get but
I’m not sure how I feel about beating the average age by 6 years, in way the older you are the more you have to lose but atleast you have a education or most of one I suppose if you do then you get to ill to use it you are gonna feel like it was all pointless

I thought writing about this might help me out because I don't know how to feel  or how I should feel.

I have spent all my teenage years asleep the years that are supossed to be the best years of your life,they really havent been watching everyone out partying hanging out,learning to drive or just getting on with life when you can hardly move is something you never think you will have to experience especially at a young age.

At least if you are older you have a full education, I've got noone of that apart from primary school years and half the time I wasn’t there. But what's worse being older & having a job kids & a husband then one day waking up not being able to do anything or going from thinking about all that to watching other people grow up around you? I think about what I have alot & what I want I wanted at 14 before diagnosis I’ve come to the conclusion I probably way to much.

Everything I want goes wrong somehow especially since after turning 14. One of my favourite quotes is "the Devil does not come to you as a red man with a pitch fork but disguised as everything you’ve ever wanted" I'm not sure that’s the exact quote bit its something along those lines I'm pretty sure this is true but my problem is that I plan to much I get excited way to easily & most of the time its not a good thing because I get really upset when things don't happen.

I want to study or work more than anything I always have a I think maybe that's where I went wrong wanting to much knowledge if that is even possible.

There’s so much I can't do that others my age or people younger than me can & that bugs me a great deal. I suppose if you do have a job & then get sick you would lose your work friends  like I lost most of my school friends & I suppose if you can't get out you lose all your friends anyway but are adults more understanding than teens? wouldn't that depend on the person? I suppose if you have no experience of illness you won't understand.

its always the people around you when it comes down to it however ill you are if you get ill you find out who your real friends. I don't have alot of friends bit I know who will be there when I need them people leave but you have to remember that its them missing out you & you aren’t to blame.

In a way its kinda good I’ve skipped the getting hungover from partying stage of my life although I don’t think I would have done that even if I was well the worlds a cruel place & I’ve learnt that the hard way illness has changed me.

in summary I have no idea what is worse
but maybe all the things I’ve missed out on can happen when I'm older no one is really expecting much of me so its not as if I'll let anyone down & I’ve already decided that when I am better I'm taking a year or 2 out to just go & do whatever I want because if I'm going to study or do anything it needs to be something I enjoy or something I'm really passionate about  to make up for lost time.

I'm just really hoping at some point I will be able to do some of the things I really want to do even if they have to be changed a bit to suit my needs.