Whenever the whole university or job conversation comes up it totally skips me&moves onto my younger sister once again I'm left feeling no~one cares about my future cuz no-one ever seems to want to discuss it with me. In my mind I'm thinking that they don't seem to think I have a future past all this,I went on later that day to discuss my thoughts with one of my best friends who told me that I can't judge myself on them or anyone else who I feel is doing better than me because there not me,she also said that even tho I'd obviously perfer not to be sick I can use this to inspire people and also that because of all this I'll probably end up proving everyone wrong. I went away and thought about this quite deeply I also came to the conclusion that due to all this
I've also got alot of sympathy in ways that I know they won't ever have or be able to relate to,not saying there not decent people cuz they are but they have come out with things in the past that I find quite offensive,I probably got mad at the time but its down to lack of understanding. I've also been able to experience other people's ways of life that are alot worse than mine,and got to be around some of the nicest people yet the ones who are struggling the most. This has given me a totally different way of thinking,one that I know I wouldn't want to be taken away from me if I had the chance, I've been truly inspired and touched by these people,their stories&their positivity again something that they won't ever have.
As for school and jobs I'll get there,I'm excited about getting back into learning,it fills me with alot of joy. I've decided that I won't settle until I get somewhere I'm not only happy with but somewhere I know I want to stay for the rest of my life it has to something I'm excited about doing,I want to go to bed everynight having enjoyed my day I don't wanna be one of those adults who comes home moaning because they hate thier job I wanna come home or be at home being excited about what I've been doing/am doing. I also know that I'll get bored with only one project on the go so I plan to have a few on the go at once,maybe a part time job&the art stuff.
I've considered maybe volunteering somewhere or even having more than one business (as long as I know there both gonna work&trying might be fun anyway) I might be sick&I'll never be your average person but I deserve my rights like eveyone else.
I'm gonna have to push and somehow make my own way but I'm sure I can do it it'll just be a very slow process but even if I'm at retirement age& I get somewhere atleast I'll have made it. Right now all that matters is that I do everything I can to get better&be the best person I know I can be.
Tuesday, 28 March 2017
Friday, 13 January 2017
To everyone whos ever belived in me and the ones who haven't
To everyone who's never belived in me you suck,its taken me a long time to realize this and alot of people never give me a chance because I'm ill alot of the time and have been my whole life I never thought about it when I was younger not deeply I just thought it was unfair and odd that I never got the chances others seemed to get. Looking back its goes alot deeper than that ,I went to ballet when I was around 7 I
had no balance and was ill most of the time even when I was off we had to pay for the lessons, the ballet teacher was always mean to me wherever I actually was well enough to make an appearance, using me an example of what no to do.
During my time at school I never got picked for anything which I always thought was super weird but its down to being half there in the year6 play I got the worst possible part and I was actually quite well that year
all I wanted was to feel like eveyone else,fit in and feel like someone belived in me that was weird time for me as I had just started to believe in something and they were
taking it away from me before I had even started. year 7~8 I grew alot I started to believe in myself and started to think I could achieve anything again I got shredded into a million pices and my hearts been battered for years I started to sleep alot more,all day every day most days
I'm not much better now year, I don't think I will ever go back to that person who seemed to belive in the impossible regardless of whatever was going on I believe in certain things but not like I used to and most of my belief is not based around my friends or idols amd not myslef,my goals
or what I want. Writing this right now I realise noone of this is fair and to all adults or I'd like to say if a child wants something give it to them pleasse believe in them don't just cadt them out because I've seen it from both sides and I know I've defiantly grown from the people who have talked to me for hours about stuff and allowed/helped
me to grow .to all people who have or do believe in me ilysm. I know there are some of you, you know who you are thanks for lifting me up and making me think that maybe I'm not as useless as I think eveyone else thinks I am. to all of you who have treated me like I cant do anything you suck and I'm better than that I've spent to long
believing your right but your not I am and I will do something that will prove that to you, I dont know how but I'm determined not to just be that sick kid that grew up to not achieve anything just because you don't think I can.
had no balance and was ill most of the time even when I was off we had to pay for the lessons, the ballet teacher was always mean to me wherever I actually was well enough to make an appearance, using me an example of what no to do.
During my time at school I never got picked for anything which I always thought was super weird but its down to being half there in the year6 play I got the worst possible part and I was actually quite well that year
all I wanted was to feel like eveyone else,fit in and feel like someone belived in me that was weird time for me as I had just started to believe in something and they were
taking it away from me before I had even started. year 7~8 I grew alot I started to believe in myself and started to think I could achieve anything again I got shredded into a million pices and my hearts been battered for years I started to sleep alot more,all day every day most days
I'm not much better now year, I don't think I will ever go back to that person who seemed to belive in the impossible regardless of whatever was going on I believe in certain things but not like I used to and most of my belief is not based around my friends or idols amd not myslef,my goals
or what I want. Writing this right now I realise noone of this is fair and to all adults or I'd like to say if a child wants something give it to them pleasse believe in them don't just cadt them out because I've seen it from both sides and I know I've defiantly grown from the people who have talked to me for hours about stuff and allowed/helped
me to grow .to all people who have or do believe in me ilysm. I know there are some of you, you know who you are thanks for lifting me up and making me think that maybe I'm not as useless as I think eveyone else thinks I am. to all of you who have treated me like I cant do anything you suck and I'm better than that I've spent to long
believing your right but your not I am and I will do something that will prove that to you, I dont know how but I'm determined not to just be that sick kid that grew up to not achieve anything just because you don't think I can.
Monday, 2 January 2017
New years resolutions for a chronically ill person
Welcome to my first blog,this is something I've been wanting to do for a while so I hope you like it, its taken me about a week to write this as I still struggle to write but I hope these new years resolutions are helpful.
1:Try to have more fun,it sounds simple but I know hard it is to want to go out or meet up with anyone the truth is you don't have to you can have fun indoors and with the most simple things.
2:Find ways to do things in a more simple way that won't make you as exhausted
3:Do what you love,I've lost most of what I loved before and I've hated myslef about it for years only recently have I realized that you can keep doing what you love in different ways to the ones you did before.
4:Watch things you wouldn't normally watch,I'm not saying go and watch a horror film if you know it'll keep you up for weeks but maybe try and watch films you've never seen,or try and find old t.v series from years ago. Even ones made before you were born you might find you like them,you won't know unless you watch
5:Try to find recovery stories or positive blogs/websites and read/watch through them
6:Get inspired by people around youif its celebritys or just random people you know. It sounds weird but I like to pick out people and list reasons in my head of why I think there inspiring and ways I can be more like them. It makes you think that if they can go though something and gwt through it so can you.
7: Try to Laugh more,again it seems simple but it can be really hard some days.
8: Try to do a good deed everyday no matter how big or small it
9:Try to look for the good in every situation no matter how hard it is
10:and finally don't let people tell you what you can and can't do and if you really want to do something that's gonna take it out of you save energy up for it don't let yourself get to restricted.
There's probably not meany people reading this but if you are I hope its helped and happy new year.
1:Try to have more fun,it sounds simple but I know hard it is to want to go out or meet up with anyone the truth is you don't have to you can have fun indoors and with the most simple things.
2:Find ways to do things in a more simple way that won't make you as exhausted
3:Do what you love,I've lost most of what I loved before and I've hated myslef about it for years only recently have I realized that you can keep doing what you love in different ways to the ones you did before.
4:Watch things you wouldn't normally watch,I'm not saying go and watch a horror film if you know it'll keep you up for weeks but maybe try and watch films you've never seen,or try and find old t.v series from years ago. Even ones made before you were born you might find you like them,you won't know unless you watch
5:Try to find recovery stories or positive blogs/websites and read/watch through them
6:Get inspired by people around youif its celebritys or just random people you know. It sounds weird but I like to pick out people and list reasons in my head of why I think there inspiring and ways I can be more like them. It makes you think that if they can go though something and gwt through it so can you.
7: Try to Laugh more,again it seems simple but it can be really hard some days.
8: Try to do a good deed everyday no matter how big or small it
9:Try to look for the good in every situation no matter how hard it is
10:and finally don't let people tell you what you can and can't do and if you really want to do something that's gonna take it out of you save energy up for it don't let yourself get to restricted.
There's probably not meany people reading this but if you are I hope its helped and happy new year.
Wednesday, 9 September 2015
8 years of ICarly
I can't believe it's been eight years......Television is in incredible if it's done right,we spent 5 years watching these people grow up and they all turned out to be incredible individuals....we learnt whilst laughing and crying at times (Yes I did cry at ICarly) the entire fandom hasn't forgotten anyone and there so of the most amazing people I know we haven't lost eachother we've just grown up but we've grown up together and leaned on eachother. Dan warp (Can't spell his l...ast name) is an incredible human being and I'm so greatful that he's been a big part of my life since I was a wee girl (Wanted to talk Scottish) I remember having a crush on Drake Bell and knowing most of the words to every Drake and Josh episode we can rant about these people but all anyone ever seems to say about production companys/actors/Proudcers ect is what they've done wrong especially on here give them a break please cuz I'm pretty sure you couldn't do half the things they do on a daily basis. My point is I LOVE Dan and I'm so lucky to have grown up with his work surrounding me.(And everyone is his production company although I can't remember names)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)