Emotions during reccovery

I didn’t plan anything like this going into this series but the other day I ended up crying my eyes out when everyone’s social media posts just got to much.

I’ve always been a very emotional person but I’ve never been the best at letting out properly I think that’s why I try & write alot because I get so upset & mad writing clears my mind.

But I'm also very black & white even I'll admit that to me what’s right is right & what’s wrong is wrong there’s hardly any in between.

Anything that hurts another person in any way is obviously wrong & I feel very strongly about that I try to understand other peoples views & mostly I can but I also feel other peoples pain very deeply, I’m not saying I can completely feel how they do but I know I definitely feel peoples emotions alot deeper than most people do.

Also I know most people can watch the news & not think about stories hours days or even weeks later I really can't If anyone is reading this they are probably thinking what on earth is she on about & what does this have to do with recovering.

Well I believe that since I have been ill I have become more emotional & stepping into reality has made me more confused than ever. I don't understand most things,Ive also become a fighter so I now want to fight for everything I think is wrong but sometimes that works the other way around & makes me mad.



I think becoming ill has made me realize how unfair everything is I see so many sick people and question why it has to be like that why should innocent people suffer? Why should people have their entire lives taken away from them due to illness or anything & why should anyone live with any illness I can’t do anything about all of this & it makes me so upset

I'm slowly beginning to realize that there isn't anything I can do that will help & if there is I try to do it if I am able.

I want people to stop being so heavy & filling everywhere with depressing news, or pretending they understand how I feel about the world. Reality has made me realize how much the world sucks & not only how unfair my life has been but also the lives of others around me I would prefer to live  in  a make believe world but that also got taken away from me, I still cling onto it as much as possible  but most of the time it proves unsuccessful.



My point is please whilst I’m recovering have a little empathy & compassion have a little faith in me.

I do believe that all these emotions can be used for good but I haven’t worked out how yet but as I'm probably never going to be able to work full time I might try & do some charity work in my spare days so I feel like I'm being of a use and doing some good.